All or Nothing
by daveryship
Summary: Some cold cases can come alive. Donna is not out of the woods yet. She can still face prison time for her previous misdeeds. Will Harvey let her go to prison? He has won the battle but will he win the war? Just how much will it take?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys, just keeping the Darvey ship sailing until Suits premiers in January, Yay! can't wait. So here's a long one. Please review. Will try and update quickly. Keep on shipping.**

 **Chapter 1**

Anita Gibbs is pissed! She had not seen this coming, except she should have. This was Harvey Specter she was dealing with. The man was a crook pretending to be a lawyer. That statement applied more to Harvey Specter than Mike Ross even though the opposite was the actual truth. The man had no boundaries, just how did he manage to get Mike Ross out of jail after serving only a few months instead of two years. They had tricked her. They'd had a deal and of course he could not keep his end of the bargain. She should have never backed out, should have never made the deal but then she would have lost in court. She knows that much. She had wanted her pound of flesh and Mike Ross serving a few months in prison was not enough. Not by a long shot. She will get her pound of flesh one way or another.

...

"Donna, I need you to get Mike on the line for me please." Harvey says, walking into his office. He is irritated. Mike thinks that if he is now working as a consultant he can come to work at whatever hour of the day. Jail hasn't changed that kid much. Maybe he should have left him in there a few more months; he still needed to learn a few more tricks. For one, get to work on time. Donna walks into his office interrupting his thoughts, "Mike is doing some wedding thing." She says.

He looks at her puzzled, "What wedding thing?"

She looks sheepishly at him "Cake tasting thing" she says. He looks aghast at her and she smirks at him. "It's a thing that people who are planning a wedding actually do, you know." She says.

"Alright then, I take it you gave him the ok?" he says

"I knew you wouldn't understand cake tasting as a good enough reason to skip work but Harvey, Mike just got out of jail and he needs this time to spend with Rachel." She pleads with him.

"Donna..." he whines, and then just throws his hands in the air giving up. He knows he can't win this one. She just smiles and walks out of his office, back to her desk. "You haven't yet won this one Donna." He calls out through the intercom. "Oh, but I just did." She says and winks at him through the glass, immediately getting back to her work. Harvey just shakes his head at her and smiles. He just wonders how she has that much power over him and how he doesn't mind it that much. He's just glad everything is back to normal. Their friendship is back on track, the back and forth banter and all. He can breathe easy now. It's incredible how it's so easy now to just breathe, and she controls that either way for him. He loves this woman. He doesn't know how exactly but he knows he needs her. Dr Argad tried to help him answer some of these questions but they never got past the theory of his mother somehow being involved in this. He never went back there, not since after Donna came back. He didn't need a shrink anymore. All good now.

...

She is pacing in her office, it doesn't make sense. The man must really have friends in very high places. There's no reversing this deal now. She can't go after the Firm about Mike Ross' fraud anymore; she signed on the dotted lines herself. She huffs and sits back on her desk. Wait just a moment, Harvey Specter gave her some files on some Liberty Rail murders. He had wanted to trade them for Mike but of course, she wasn't born yesterday. She had needed a confession and she had got one. Only the deal didn't hold for long. The fraud only served a few months in jail thanks to Harvey Specter. But those files were of value to him obviously, for him to think that he could trade them for Mike Ross. She takes out the files that Harvey Specter never got to take back after he had tried to pawn them for Mike Ross. It all looked legit, these murders actually happened. He must have been involved somehow. His shady dealings as a lawyer, God, she hates lawyers like that. They made a complete mockery of the law. There is one person who can clear up the situation regarding these murders. Why did Evan Smith give up such incriminating evidence on her clients? It's not like she was trying to do some justice or anything because she wasn't exactly an upstanding lawyer herself. Damn these corporate lawyers. They would do anything for personal gain, money, power. Harvey Specter was involved in this and she will not rest until she finds out just how deep. And then she will haul his ass in prison along with the other murderers. He won't get away with it this time. She will dig until she finds some kind of evidence. And she knows just where to start with the digging, Evan Smith. She'll know something.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 **Thank you so much for the support, keep 'em coming. So i have added a few songs that i think perfectly describe Darvey, together and separately. Keep on shipping.**

 _The wound heals but it never does. That's cause you're at war with love. These battle scars don't look like they're fading; don't look like they're ever going away. They ain't never gonna change. – Battle scars. Lupe & Guy Sebastian_

He wakes up in a sweat, panting, heart racing. God, he'd had another one. He doesn't know if he should call them nightmares or the sweetest dreams. They are a kind of sweet torture; he craves them and dreads them at the same time. His therapy with Dr Argard had stopped when his panic attacks stopped, when Donna had come back to him of course. The dreams never stopped though. If anything they had become more vivid and intense. It's driving him crazy. Every day is a battle, a battle against his emotions, and he's been winning. One day at a time, he comes home without having said anything or shown anything remotely resembling caring. She didn't mean to hurt him when she left to work for Louise, he knows that now. But she did a number on him nonetheless, intentionally or not. She doesn't even know the extent of power she has on him. He sighs and gets up from bed to get ready for work. Just another normal day at the office.

He gets on the elevator, takes a deep breath and prepares himself for the battle, again. Maintain control, maintain peace with Donna and keep from saying or doing anything stupid. It's getting harder keeping his distance from Donna. He's not used to it. She is the one person he could talk to with no shield on, because she always saw through his shield anyway. She was the one person he could share his pain with. The first person he would think of to tell if he was happy about something. She doesn't try to change him, or blame him about anything. When she stands with him he is able to stand tall, but he falls like a giant snowman, crumbling into nothing when she abandons him. She's his best friend. He doesn't need to explain anything to her, she just knows him. He walks to his office; head high, every step sure and steady. "Donna ." he says in greeting, seeing her already busy on her desk. She smiles at him, handing him his coffee. "Harvey." She says back. Then she starts telling him about his appointments handing him some envelops while at it. He really doesn't know what he would have done without her especially since he became managing partner. This is what they had dreamed about. To achieve this much, to become this big together. From making partner to having his ( their) name on the wall, to being managing partner. Together. He can do anything with her besides him.

 _Kiss me goodnight, like a good friend might. I'll do the same, but won't mean it. Cause love is a cage, these words on a page carry the pain. They don't free it. In another life i wouldn't need to console myself as I resign to release you. Cause I would die to make you mine. You bleed me dry each and every time. But I don't mind it ,I don't mind it, I will come back a thousand times. You make me wait forever. Push me away and tell me never. But I don't mind it; I'll come back a thousand times. - Sara Bareilles. A 1000 times._

She watches him walk into his office and she sighs and gets back to work. She doesn't know how she was even able to leave him to work for Louise. Working for Harvey was the highlight of her day, every day for the past thirteen years. Most people would say she is crazy because weekends are not particularly her favorites. It's just the way it is. She has no other life outside of him, and that means this office. She could never stay away for long. She's his best friend but she loves him more than that. She had decided not to push the matter anymore. The 'love me how' issue. She won't push it because that will only push him away and she can't stand being estranged from him again. The time she went to work for Louise was the most horrible time of her life. Not that Louise was horrible, but that she was not on good terms with Harvey. That was the worst and longest fight she had ever had with him for all the time they had known each other. There had been plenty of fights of course but that one had felt more permanent. She would bet that's how a divorce would feel was hurting and he was hurting, they were miserable apart. She can't be without him. She'll never be ready for that. She will just take what she can have, what he is willing to give her. And that's his friendship. His companionship, his presence. Every day, except for the weekends. She'll be content with that. She will stand by him, support him and be what he wants her to be to him. It's not just her job, her duty. It is her purpose, her joy, what she loves and lives to do. She looks up and freezes, seeing the woman who is walking purposefully towards her. She stands up, doesn't bother to great her but just glares. "What do you want?" she asks her as she stops at her desk.

"Good morning too Ms Paulsen, really glad to see you." Anita Gibbs says to her with a fake smile.

Harvey steps out of his office in full attack mode, "You're not welcome here Mrs Gibbs so if you don't mind you could show yourself out the way you came in because I am not seeing you today, no matter what the reason. So please." He says, showing Anita Gibbs the exit with the show of his hand in demonstration. Anita Gibbs just smiles and hands Harvey an envelope. "I sense hostility in this place but I am just here to give you this." She says

Harvey takes the envelope ripping it open, "what's this?" he asks.

"Ms Paulsen's summons, her arraignment is tomorrow." Anita Gibbs says, taking a step back as if about to leave.

"What the fuck is this! Her arraignment for what?" Harvey hisses, dangerously angry.

"Oh you don't know?" Anita Gibbs turns back and faces Harvey, looking him square in the eyes. "Those files you gave me, remember the murders you wanted to trade in for Mike?" she asks and Harvey just stares at her, not answering. "Well, thank you very much for those; I did manage to put those scumbags in prison. But you know me, won't leave any loose ends where a crime has been committed. So, I am just tying up some lose ends here. Evan Smith tells me how those documents were obtained. She told me the whole goddamned thing. The fraud you had her commit, the witness against Ms Paulsen that you had her bribe. Now I know that trying to make these charges against you stick is quite tricky because you know how to cover your tracks very well indeed. However, the charges against Ms Paulsen here are clear as day. I promise you, we won't even have to spend that much time in court. That's how short it's gonna be. And before you say anything Mr Specter, there are no deals this time. Remember I know just how good you are at keeping your end of the deal." she says.

Harvey can't breath,. "Look if you want to come after me then come after me but leave Donna out of this."

"You think that you're invincible, that you're above the law. You got Mike Ross out of prison within months and I applaud you for that. Very slick. Let's just see how you are going to get out of this one. But one thing I know is that Ms Paulsen is going to jail for a long time. Even longer than Mike was supposed to serve. I guess you made your choice Specter. Have a good day." She says as she walks out. Donna is frozen in place. She has not been able to say a single word. " Harvey?" is all she manages to say, looking questioningly at him. He walks her to his office and sits her on the couch as he sits next to her.

"I'll make it go away Donna, I promise. I told you I'll never let anything happen to you. You're not going t prison, just trust me." He reassures her.

"Harvey my arraignment is tomorrow", she is shaking.

Harvey covers her hands with his to stop them from shaking. "Donna, look at me." he says. "Do you trust me?" he asks her earnestly.

She looks at him, her hands in his, the trembling has stopped. "You know I do." She says

"Then you know I won't let anything happen to you. I won't." He wants to take her in his arms but he holds back. That is the kind of stupid thing he is always practicing not to do. He can't lose his shit now. He's got to get ready for a fight.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 **Hey guys, thanks for the reviews, love em. Here's another chapter, i hope you enjoy it. Tell me what you think. Will try and update at least every week. Mean time, keep on shipping.**

"Your Honor, this case was brought to your attention before and was dismissed. The prosecution is just trying to be vindictive. We ask for a motion to dismiss. This case is nothing but a witch hunt." She hears Harvey saying to the Judge but she can't move. She is frozen with fear. She cannot believe she is here again about those damned documents.

"Your Honor, new evidence that we believe had been buried by the defendant had come to light. Let me remind you that this is a serious matter that may involve National Security." Anita Gibbs walks to the stand to hand the Judge a folder.

The judge reads through the folder and looks up at Harvey. "Motion to dismiss denied. Court date is set in two weeks."

Donna's heart starts beating fast, her pulse is racing, she feels like she wants to throw up. Get it together Donna; Harvey will get you out of this, just like he did last time. She looks at Harvey and he is busy arguing with both the Judge and Anita Gibbs but she is in a kind of trance she can't hear what is being said. She shacks herself out of it and tries to pay attention.

"Your Honour, may we ask for an extension?" Harvey says

"So when do you plan to appear in court Mr Specter. Please be kind enough to let us know and we'll oblige you. Next year maybe? Or five years from now?" the judge looks at him mockingly. He is an old man with little biddy eyes, Donna dislikes him immediately. He seems to have it in for Harvey. Anita Gibbs must have somehow arranged for him to preside over this case.

"The trial is scheduled in two weeks and I am not taking any excuses." The judge slams down his hammer in dismissal. It felt like she had already been judged.

...

He is tapping his foot impatiently, staring at Anita Gibbs while she reiterates the law to him. Telling him how unfit he is to be a lawyer. He doesn't here anymore of her ranting, all he is thinking about is trying to figure out how to make this woman curve. He had been at it all day and night and couldn't find any dirt on her. No way to threaten her to drop the case short of holding her family hostage and threatening to kill them if she doesn't drop it. The woman was a real stickler for the law. Now he is here begging her. He had called in every favor but this was too out of reach, so they have said. You'd wonder how they would treat actual murderers. He had even gone to Terrence Wolf and the dick had laughed in his face. Mike's photographic memory hadn't turned up anything substantial either. He was running out of time. He had also asked Jessica to be 2nd chair if the case ever goes to trial, but that's just if it goes to trial. Jessica was only too happy to help but the evidence is there and is still staking up somewhat fierce. He couldn't take this to trial, he couldn't guarantee a win. The witness that Evan Smith was supposed to bribe to change her tune had turned up, and she's singing the same tune as before. He can't get near her because Gibbs has put her in protective custody or something. He doesn't have much time at all. "Look, you can have me then. Or anything else, just name your price." He begs.

"It doesn't work that way Mr Specter." she scoffs at him; pushing back the files of the other 'better' criminals he had given her for a trade. "What? Do you think you can get me criminals now? Like I can't find my own criminals? For your own information I already have a criminal, her name is Donna Paulsen. So don't come into my office thinking you can trade in some criminals for her. I'll go after them after I am done with her." She says with a sneer.

"You are some piece of work you know." He says angrily at her.

"I could say the same thing about you." she says right back.

...

"Harvey, we may have to take this thing to trial. You've got to stop running around begging for favors and start getting serious about winning this case in court." Jessica says, looking at Harvey who is sitting on her couch with his head in his hands. The trial date is getting closer and closer and he still has no clue on how to close this before trial.

"Jessica, we can't take this to trial. How the hell am I the best closer in the city if I can't close this case? I have to shut this down now. I refuse to even think about Donna going to trial."

"We have to prep Donna now and get our defense ready. We don't have much time Harvey." She insists.

"You prep Donna for a trail that's never going to happen while I keep running around. I still have a few favors to collect." He says getting up from the couch taking his jacket, ready to leave. He looks weary and pale. "Have you slept at all?" Jessica asks concerned.

He just shrugs his shoulder giving her a look. How could he sleep at a time like this? He's cashing time and so far it doesn't look good.

...

It had finally hit her that she might actually go to prison; right around that time Jessica called her to prep her for her trial. Louise was there too giving her some pointers. Harvey was nowhere to be found, running around somewhere with Mike. He hasn't been in the office since Anita Gibbs showed up. She won't doubt him, she can't doubt him, but her court date was tomorrow. And Harvey is just a man after all. This time she could use a prayer. She takes a quiet time to reflect. She is scared shitless but she has to have faith in Harvey. He once said that he'll never let anything happen to her and Harvey keeps his promises. But what if this time this is just beyond him. He is trying everything for her, she knows that, but their two weeks is almost up and he still hasn't said anything to her. She doesn't ask him because she doesn't want to pressure him further. She knows Harvey, right now he's weighed down with guilt, driving himself t the ground for her. Threat of going to prison is more real now than last time. This time it's Anita Gibbs on the prosecution and that woman is like a dog with a bone. What , with her vendetta against Harvey for managing to get Mike out of prison before his full sentence was due. She has to prepare herself for the possibility of going to prison. Louis said it wouldn't be some white collar cushy prison. Anita Gibbs will make sure its maximum prison if she were to ave her way and so far she's been winning. She even managed to throw in some bullshit about her actions compromising National Security for goodness sake. How did she get herself in this mess. Now everyone is running around trying to save her. Harvey hasn't slept in days and he doesn't look like he's been eating, he's lost so much weight in just two weeks. If she goes to prison, she wont be able to see him again. Yeah he will visit for the thirty minutes per week that the'd be allowed. Yeah, she went and researched all about life in a prison. If only to make herself even more anxious because knowing about life in a prison hasn't helped at all. She's having nightmares about it every night. People will visit but eventually, as time moves on, the'll forget. The visits will become lesser and far in between. Then eventually they'll stop. Your prison mates will become your family. And the family you've known will move on, people have lives to live. The thought of Harvey moving on without her fills her with such dread. There'd always been a hope inside heat for them. She'd have to move on first before she's left behind. In her heart, she'd have to kill that hope. She'd have to say goodbye. But she has to take care of him first, right now. One last time.

...

It's past midnight and he's still at the office. His desk is a mess, documents all over the place. He has to do this right because it looks like he's going to go to trial tomorrow. He fills like he's being pushed against a wall. He hasn't slept for days, how could he. He had parted ways with Mike just a few hours ago, finally resigned that they were going to trail after all. He had told him that he was going to his apartment but he come straight back to the office. Now was the time to prepare for the war. How could he go back to Dona and tell her that she will be in court tomorrow. That he has failed. He can't tell her because he hasn't accepted it yet himself. Somehow, there is a way somewhere and he doesn't want to show up at her door step less of the man she knows. He is failing and he can't stand to see the disappointment on her face. He is looking at every angle, every defence strategy. He had gone the extra mile to even bribe a juror. Well, more like blackmailed him. He was using every strategy, legal or illegal. He has dirt on a lot of people and a lot of them owe him. It's time to collect. He can't play by the book when its Donna's life on the line here and the courts are not particularly sympathetic to him these days. He is so lost in his preparations that he doesn't see Donna standing at the door staring at him. She walks in and calls his name twice and he doesn't hear her. Her heart breaks seeing him like this. He is so lost, so human. Rare are the moments he looks this defeated. Feeling a soft hand on his check he looks up with a start and his heart stops.

 _Remember all the things we wanted...I didn't come here to hurt you, now I can't stop. I want you to know it doesn't matter where we take this road. But someone's got to go. And I want you to know, you couldn't have loved me better. But I want you to move on, cause I am already gone. - Already gone by Sleeping at last._

"Donna?" he asks questionably, wondering if maybe he had fallen asleep and was dreaming about her again. She never touches him that way, they don't touch that way. Her touch is so warm and tender, so comforting he leans into her touch for just a little bit more of that heaven. The look in her eyes though,its so sad heart breaking, it draws him in. He could drown in those eyes. There is so much in those eyes, so much he doesn't want to see, so much he's not worthy of. He doesn't qualify. How on earth is this woman still capable of looking at him like that when she knows that he has failed. She should hate him, blame him or something. This is not the look he expected to see in her eyes , this is making it even harder for him to breathe. "Donna." He says again in a whisper.

"What are you still doing here? Shouldn't you be at home sleeping?" she asks.

"I could say the same about you." he says

She moves to his glass table which holds his scotch and proceeds to pour two glasses. She hands him one and sits on the opposite chair. She reaches in her bag and produces a can opener, _the_ can opener, waving it at him with a sad smile. "I think we almost forgot something." She says suggestively.

He smiles and takes it from her; he looks at the can opener for a while and sighs. "The ritual." He says

"The ritual." She says in agreement. "We have court tomorrow, and we never go to court without doing our thing."

"Donna...I am sorry." he says sadly, the words come out strangled from his throat. He tries to swallow the lump on his throat but it wont budge.

"For what Harvey?" she is sad to see him like this.

"That we're going to court at all. I have done everything." He sighs, dropping his head in his hands. "I don't know what to do." He whispers with his head still dropped. He can't look at her.

She stretches her hand across the desk and takes his hand causing him to look at her.

"It's my goddamned fault." He says. "They are coming after you because of me." He swallows, his heart hurts, and his throat feels constricted his eyes feel suspiciously heavy. This would be the worst time to have any water works. Not in front of Donna. But of course not, he has self control in buckets. The tears that are threatening never fall. He'll make sure it stays that way.

"Hey." She looks at him, tears threatening in her eyes too. "I never want to hear you say that again. It's not your fault. You have done everything you could possibly do, but you're human Harvey. Sometimes humans fail. It doesn't make you any less of the remarkable human being I have come to know. You are a remarkable man Harvey. I don't blame you for anything. I am grateful for everything you've done for me." She looks away, having a hard time keeping the tears in her eyes from falling. She finally gains some control and looks back at him with a smile. "Besides, who says we're not going to win tomorrow. I brought the can opener remember? And I have faith in you Harvey. We'll get through this."

He suddenly feels lighter in his heart. They will win tomorrow, they are doing the ritual right? Plus he has that safety insurance. The juror. He's not sure that's enough though.

"Let's make a toast." She says. "To winning the case tomorrow." She raises her glass and he clicks his to hers and drinks up. She gets up from the chair and walks to his record collection. She selects one of his his father's records and inserts it in the player. It was his favourite, their favourite. She turns and stretches her hand to him, "Come on, dance with me."

He doesn't hesitate and takes her hand, drawing her close. He sighs, feeling alive for the first time in a long time. The feel of her in arms like this is one of the very few guilty pleasures whose aftermath is going to torture him like hell when this is over. But he will allow himself this small piece of heaven. He can't be at war with his emotions all the the time. He'll pay for it later, of that he is sure. They dance slowly to the music, barely moving, just clinging to each other. This is one of the most significant times in his life and its a very short list. This is more intimate than anything he's ever done, not even sex. It's bigger than sex, somehow. He allows his emotions to run free. He doesn't say anything but the magnitude of his love for her is expressed so clearly in this moment. In his touch on her waist, his forehead on hers, noses brushing. They stay like that for a long time, the record has long ended and still they are unaware. They are only aware of each other, in this moment. It feels strange, it feels like she is saying goodbye. He can read her thoughts and her fears in this moment. He can't lose her. This is not goodbye. He drags her head gently to rest on his chest and rests his chin on her head. He is nervous and anxious about tomorrow but he shouldn't be. He has everything in place. He had made Judge Henderson to recuse himself, the old man had seemed to have some sort of disdain for Harvey and he couldn't have him preside over this case. Now the judge who will be handling this case is almost like a father to him. The jury was well selected somewhat, most of them will be swayed towards Donna. Plus there was the juror he had bribed. Not to mention the amount of work that had gone into their defence. Between him and Jessica there is an almost 100% chance of winning this. He cannot relax though, he cannot sleep because almost is not an absolute. One can never be too confident with a jury.

"Stop that." She says mildly, admonishing.

He is surprised, "What?" he says puzzles

"I know it when you're worrying Harvey, I know what you're thinking. I can feel it. You forget I know you so well." she raises her head to look up at him."Now stop worrying."

He smirks at her, indicating without saying anything that he'd just been made. "I'll make you a deal then." He says

"What?"She says, resting her head on his chest again.

"I'll stop worrying if you stop freaking out." He says

She looks back at him again, eyebrow raised in question

"Yeah," he says, "I can practically hear you screaming inside your head. You're scared. This cool and collected persona does not fool me one bit." He looks into her eyes and sees that he was right. He smirks, "You forget that I know you so well too." He brushes her hair back, looking intently in her eyes. "I won't let anything happen to you Donna. I can't. I'll fight with everything I've got. So don't worry ok? I am right here."

She absorbs his words and takes a long sigh, nodding her head.

"I want you to go home and get some sleep Harvey." She says, taking his hand and dragging him out of the office "Come on, let's go."

He doesn't resist and just goes along with her. He stops at her apartment and walks her to her door. He doesn't get in, just bids her goodbye at her door and walks away. She watches his back as he walks away and it feels strangely like he's walking out of her life for good. She shakes that thought out of her head and proceeds to bed, there isn't much sleep to catch up on, and it's already 2:20am. In a few hours she would have to get ready for court. On that note, sleep evades her. She'll be on trial in a few hours. She thinks about the trial, she thinks about him. Eventually her body succumbs to sleep.

 _I wish I never looked, wish I never touched. I wish that I could stop loving you so much. Cause I'm the only one that's trying to keep us together. When all of the signs say that I should forget her. I wish you weren't the best, the best I ever had. _ Battle scars._

He doesn't go to his own apartment; he drives around instead, feeling the breeze in his hair, on his face. He reflects on the past, the present, the future. The moment he first met her, their time together at the DA's office, the other time. He reflects on their moment in his office just an hour ago. They were always more, bigger, better together than anything he has ever known. What they have, he could never replace. Could never have again with another person in this lifetime. He tries to think of what it can be like without her. Out of his life, not just across the hall outside Louise's office, as devastating as that had been. The very idea makes fear rise up in him, suspiciously symptomatic of a panic attack. He can't have that now. He manages to suppress it with slow even breaths. He drives to his apartment but he can't sleep. He takes out some of the paper work on Donna's case. Going through it again, every loop hole, every angle. They had all worked on it, Jessica, Louise Mike and even Rachel. They have a very good strategy but still he can't just relax .He looks up to realize that it was already sometime past 6am. Shit! He's going to be late for court.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 **Hi guys, so thank you so much for the awsome reviews. You guys are great. Everytime i read your reviews i do a happy dance, keep em coming. Tell me what you think. Am glad that it did'nt take me a week like i had predicted. This one is full of Court Room drama. I hope you like it. Keep on shipping.**

 _I did what i did for you, i did what i could. I did what i don't know how... My life will grow, my love will go. Without you,without you - Ingrid Mickaelson._

She walks into the court room and every step is an effort, it feels as if her feet are made of stone. She is flagged by Harvey on her right and Jessica on her left. Louise, Mike and Rachel are close behind. The Court room is almost full, everyone is already sited. She spots Anita Gibbs On her left in front of her as she keeps walking and takes her sit besides Harvey, Jessica sits on her far right, next to Harvey. Mike and Rachel tap her on the shoulder wishing her luck for the up tenth time. Louise leans in and whispers in her ear, "You're going to be fine Donna. Just do as we practiced. Don't answer any question definitively, if she presses you plead the fifth." He says and walks to his chair. Jessica looks at Harvey, "Good cop bad cop?" she asks and Harvey just nods. The Judge walks in and everyone stands up. "All raise, Judge Martin presiding." He is a handsome man of about sixty. They couldn't have asked for a better judge. He is known for his fairness, plus he is a friend of Harvey's. The Court proceeds , she is doing everything as she is supposed to but she feels robotic. Can't really comprehend what's happening. She is called to the stand and she stands up confidently but she feels anything but. She walks to the stand, swears on the Bible and takes her sit on the stand. Anita Gibbs walks to her,looking at her with her shrewed eyes. She doesn't see her as anything human anymore. How can another woman work so hard to be so cruel to another?

"Miss Paulsen, please tell us how you obtained the documents in question at Liberty Rail?"She starts.

"I got them from their file room." She replies, seemingly composed but inside her heart is beating like a drum.

"How did you gain access to their file room?" Anita Gibbs asks

"They buzzed it open for me." She says

"Did you lie your way in saying you where with the National Transportation Board?"

"I didn't say I was with the National Transportation Board." She replies, so far doing as they had practised. Not committing to anything and not perjuring herself at the same time. She had not said it the way Anita Gibbs was phrasing it therefore she can deny that statement and wouldn't be lying.

"Would you please tell us what you said to gain access to that file room Miss Paulsen?"

Here it is. This is the type of question she can't answer. "I decline to answer as per my 5th amendment right." She says. Now shaking.

Anita Gibbs then turns to the jury. "Pleading the fifth ha?" There is no greater admition to guilt than that."

"Objection." Harvey says, "Testifying."

"Mrs Gibbs would you care to proceed with your questioning without your testimony please." Judge Marti says.

Anita Gibbs proceeds to ask her some more questions to which she pleads the fifth until she gives up. Harvey declined to cross examine her and she gets from the stand to walk back to her chair. She doesn't know how she manages to walk all the way across to her chair, her legs are shaking so bad she is surprised when they don't give up from beneath her. She sits down, taking a long sigh. Harvey takes her shaking hands from beneath the table to calm her down.

Jessica stands up and calls a witness to the stand. Mr Hadd, the train driver from Liberty Rail who had been driving the train involved in the accident that had killed people. She asks him some questions, proving how Liberty Rail had managed to bury evidence of such a crime and if not for Donna, such evidence would never have come to light. It's a weak attempt to destruct the jury from Donna's crime onto the more horrific crime that Donna supposedly helped to bring to light. Hopefully it would work. Anita Gibbs is not fooled though; she declines to cross examine the witness. "Mr Hadd's testimony has no bearing whatsoever on this matter. The crime committed against him and the others was fully paid for and the perpetrators are serving time in prison. However this is a matter of National Security ladies and gentlemen of the Jury. Where Miss Paulsen is being accused of pausing as a National Transportation Board Agent. Now I call to the stand Miss Caroline Blain." She says and the witness against Donna, the woman who had allowed her into the file room stood up to take the stand. Donna holds her breath, this isn't good.

Anita Gibbs proceeds to ask her questions and the witness is all too happy to tell the Jury how Donna tricked her into getting into their very secure file room.

"What did Miss Paulsen say to you to make you open that door to your file room for her?" Anita Gibbs asks, clearly enjoying this.

"She said that she was with the National Transportation Board." Miss Blain answered. At that, a look passes between Harvey and Jessica but she doesn't know what to make of it. Anita Gibbs rests her case after a few more questions. Harvey then gets up to cross examines the witness.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the video that Mrs Gibbs has declared as evidence has no audio therefore there is no way of knowing what was really said between Miss Paulsen and Miss Blain here." He proceeds to play the tape for the jury. Then he turns to ask the witness some questions getting more and more aggressive with his line of questioning. The witness is clearly rattled. "Mrs Blain, is there any other reason why you gave Miss Paulsen access to your file room other than what you claim she said regarding the National Transportation Board?"

"No." The witness says

"Are you a trustworthy person Ms Blain?" Harvey starts

"Yes" the witness said confidently

"Maybe we have very different interpretations of the word trustworthy Ms Blain, because that right there is a lie."

"Objection!" Anita Gibbs is outraged

Harvey ignores her and carries on, "Did you take a bribe from Ms Evan regarding this case some months ago?" he baits

The witness is now squirming in her chair.

"Did you take a bribe or not Ms Blain?" Harvey shouted startling the client into answering.

"I did but..." she tries to answer

"You took a bribe. What was it for? What did Ms Evan want you to do?" he asks

"She wanted me to change my story." she answered

"And did you?" Harvey asks

She fidgets in her chair again, "Yes" she says lowly

"Please speak up Ms Blain", Harvey says

"Yes," she reluctantly says a bit louder

"So how much did Mrs Gibbs pay you to tell this story you are telling now. You're not a very reliable con artist are you now?" he says sarcastically

"Objection! Anita Gibbs shouts again in outrage

"Mr Specter!" The judge says in warning

"Ladies and gentleman of the jury, we have a con artist here as a witness. One who would clearly say anything under oath for money, depending on who pays her more?" He turns back to the witness, "Does Ms Evan know that you've gone back on your word for a higher payout?"

"Objection! Badgering." Gibbs says again

"Sustained." The judge says

Harvey continues "What where you promised Ms Blain in order for you to tell this story today?"

The witness looks sheepishly at her hands. Harvey doesn't pursue it, the look on her face will tell its own story to the Jury.

"There is a video confirming my story right there." The witness finally gets the guts to say back.

"A video with no audio. Who's to say you where not selling information to Ms Paulsen right there. And the words National Transportation Board where not used at all, given your rap sheet. In which case you'd be the one guilty of selling confidential information. Who's to say you're bot the one who came up with the 'National Transportation Board' scheme for this fictional story of yours? Thus making you the one compromising National security, wouldn't you say Ms Blain?" he says. "You'd also be guilty of slandering Ms Paulsen's good name."

"Objection your honour. Ms Blain is not the one on trial here." Gibbs says

"Well she should be." Harvey says

"Mr Specter, I am not going to say this again. Back off." Judge Martin says irritably.

Harvey is undeterred, he faces the Jury. "This case has no merit whatsoever. There is no audio ladies and gentleman. It's her word against Ms Paulsen's word and as you have heard for yourselves,Mrs Blain here took a payout to say what she's saying on the stand." He declares.

"The fact remains that Miss Paulsen illegally obtained those documents from that file room." Anita Gibbs interjects.

"Mrs Gibbs is clearly a vindictive woman who is out here wasting your time trying out a case which was thrown out months ago for its lake of evidence." He says

"Evidence that the defendant clearly buried. This Firm has no respect for the law; they would do anything to win. They even hired a fraud as a lawyer in their firm. What can you expect?" Anita Gibbs interjects again unceremoniously. This has now turned into a shouting match between her and Harvey.

"Mrs Gibbs is a washed out lawyer who can't even win a single case in court to get back her glory days. Now she is on a mission to prosecute innocent people to get her name in the paper. She is here to appease her bruised ego for being outsmarted by me and now she's dragging my firm into it. This is a personal vendetta against me. Mrs Gibbs was given those documents in confidence, to bring to justice people responsible for mass murder as she claims she is so fond of doing. Then she turns around and attacks the person who has brought the evidence to her in the first place. She is a two timing backstabbing witch who would play with innocent people's lives just to appease a personal vendetta."

"Careful not to throw in a compliment in there Mr Specter, 'backstabbing' is actually commendable in 'witchy land'. Anita Gibbs says mockingly

"You'd know." Harvey muttered audibly

"Order in my court!" the judge slams down his hammer to bring the now rowdy courtroom to silence. "Council, approach the bench now." He says angrily

Harvey and Anita approach the Judge and Jessica joins in, coming to stand beside Harvey.

"I am going to hold both of you in contempt if you insist on making a mockery of my Court Room. Mr Specter, I suggest you get off whatever meds you're on before you examine this witness again." Judge Martin says admonishingly.

"I'll continue the cross examination of the witness your honour." Jessica says and the Judge gives them a warning look and dismisses them.

Jessica starts her questioning of the witness in a very cordial manner, so much the opposite of Harvey that the witness visibly relaxes, trusting her. Well, as far as one can trust the opposition. "Mrs Blain, what where you doing when Miss Paulsen approached you?" she asks

"I was looking at something on my phone." The witness answers defensively

"Did the defendant, Mrs Paulsen say to you and I quote, 'I am from the National Transportation Board?" she asks

"She said..." the witness starts to answer but is cut off

"Yes or no answer Miss Blain" Jessica says

The witness looks stuck, and looks sheepishly at her hands, not answering

"Need I remind you that you are under oath Miss Blain?" Jessica says calmly

"No." The witness says reluctantly.

"Did she say, again I quote, 'I am with the National Transportation Board?' asks Jessica

"No"

"Did she start her introduction with 'I am this or that in reference to the National Transportation Board.?"

"She said..." the witness starts and again is cut short.

"Yes or no answers please Miss Blain."

"No" she says "Now ladies and gentlemen of the jury", Jessica says turning to face the Jury, "anything else said which does not include an affirmation of 'I am' this or that is vague and inconclusive. 'Have you ever heard of Jessica Pearson?" she says in demonstration to the jury. "Or 'Do you know who Jessica Pearson is?' She asks the Jury. "By that, have I told you conclusively that I am Jessica Pearson? Would you automatically conclude that I am Jessica Pearson?" the Jury almost nods unanimously in agreement. She turns back to the witness, "What did you do to verify your assumptions? Did you ask to see her badge? Did you phone to verify?" she asks and the witness shakes her head.

"Please answer loudly." she says

"No, I didn't", says the witness

"Now given all this information, it's hard to believe what really transpired here. May the court please read Miss Blain's answer to her lawyer on the stand just a few minutes ago concerning what Miss Paulsen said to gain access to the file room?" Jessica says addressing the lady typing the minutes of the court proceeding.

The lady rose and began to read. "Mrs Gibbs to Miss Blain. 'What did Miss Paulsen say to you to gain access to your file room?"

"Miss Blain to Mrs Gibbs, 'she said that she was from the National Transportation Board'. The lady set back down after reading.

"Now just a few minutes ago I asked you the same question and you said Miss Paulsen didn't say that. You just lied under oath during Mrs Gibbs questioning. What's to make us believe whatever else you say? What's to make us believe that what you claimed happened happened?" Jessica says turning to the Jury, now captivated. "Ladies and gentlemen of the Jury, what we have here is an employee who is incompetent and negligent, according to her own testimony. What we have here is an incredible witness who just lied under oath just under an hour ago." She pauses taking in the jury, she's selling it. "That woman over there," she says, pointing at Donna, "Is one of the most honest, kind and loyal people I have had the pleasure of knowing." "Would you send her to prison based on a testimony from such an unreliable witness? I rest my case." She walks back to her chair and sits down.

Anita Gibbs feel sick, damn they played her again. Bad cop good cop. All that ranting from Harvey Specter was just a ploy to unravel her witness. And now her case has been ripped to shreds. They are a typical Franklin and Bash the pair. She gets up to give her own closing statements. "Ladies and gentlemen of the Jury, a crime was committed here. Now the defendant will try and tell you that this it was for a bigger cause and yada yada but the fact remains that Miss Paulsen defrauded the Government by pausing as one of their agents in order to gain something. She committed felony fraud and should pay for her crime. Imagine someone pausing as an, let's say an FBI Agent and knocks at your door just to try and get some confidential information from you. That's what Ms Paulsen did." she turns and sits back down. The Judge slams his hammer down again, "Court is now in recess. We will come back when the Jury has a verdict." He gets up to leave and everyone rises in respect.

The court is called back in an hour; the Jury is ready with a verdict. The judge addresses the jury "Is the Jury ready with the verdict?"

"Yes your Honor." The Juror that Harvey had blackmailed is the one who stands up to read the verdict. He gives Harvey a look.

"What say you?" Judge Martin asked


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

 **Hey guys . Sorry i took so long to update. Here is another chapter. Don't hate me. Love me and review.**

 _I did what i did for you, I did what I could. I did what I don't know how... My life will grow, my love will go. Without you- Ingrid Michaelson._

The court is still, the atmosphere is so tense you could literary touch it. Harvey holds his breath, he waits. The juror had given him a look, maybe that means everything was all good. Well it better be or he'll bury the son of a bitch.

"The Jury has found Ms Donna Paulsen ... Guilty of Felony Fraud!"

There are gasps of shock in the court room, even Anita Gibbs looks shocked.

It hits him in the gut so strong he literary doubled over, the air whooshing out of his chest. He is in a daze, maybe he didn't hear correctly, maybe this is all a joke. Their argument had been compelling enough to warrant a win besides the Juror he had thought he had in his pocket. The Judge is now reading out Donna's sentence but he can't hear it, his brain has gone numb. No way was this a fair ruling, something went down. "Bullshit!" he yells, throwing the files that are lining up his desk onto the floor, everyone goes still.

The judge slams down his hammer, "Mr Specter get out of my court room now before I charge you with contempt."

The guards move to take Donna away. He watches in shock as they put handcuffs on her, dragging her away from him. Donna turns her head to look back at him, she looks paper white. "Harvey." She whispers as she is being dragged away. Something in him breaks; he totally loses it. "Get your filthy hands off her!" he hisses at the guards as he tries to pull Donna way from them. One guard tries to push him away and Harvey swings at him landing a punch on his nose. The court is in an uproar, the Judge is slamming down his hammer but no one pays heed. Harvey is restrained by two other guards, holding his arms immobile. His breath is coming in short hissing sounds, his head is spinning. He is held before the judge while he watches Donna disappear behind the door of the court room. Bile is coming up his throat, he can't breathe, and he can't see. The judge he is saying something but all he hears is noise. The judge's face is turning into weird funny shapes and sometimes he has two heads, everything else is blurry and the room is spinning. He has to get out of here before he throws up in the judge's precious court room. He shouldn't stand so close to him or he'll throw up in his face. And these goons should stop holding him so tightly; however, throwing up on them would be the highlight of this nightmarish day.

"Your Honour please," Jessica pleads with the judge, "I know I can not excuse Mr Specter's behavior in your court room today, but he hasn't slept in days. You know Harvey and you know how controlled he is."

"I could charge him with assault of an officer and hurl his ass to jail for a year." The judge is pissed.

"But you won't do that judge Martin, you are an understanding man and you must know what Harvey is going through right now." Jessica pleads

"He is not allowed to see Ms Paulsen for the next three days, make sure he gets his head on straight. Anything more like this and I will charge him." The judge says angrily.

Harvey's breathing gets more laboured, these goons should really let him go or he'll mess up their shoes any minute now. Mike runs to his side noticing his breathing, "Harvey? Are you ok?" he asks anxiously and Harvey is too busy trying to control his breathing he doesn't answer him.

"Judge, he's having a panic attack. You need to let him go. We need to call an ambulance." Mike says

The judge looks at Harvey, seeing the sweat dripping off his forehead, the laboured breaths and deciding that he wasn't faking it he ordered the guards to let him go. Harvey just turns and heads for the exit, every step an effort. He finds his way to the bathroom and throws up in the first stool he finds. He feels a hand on his shoulder, its Mike, attempting to comfort him. If only he could, just a little. He hangs there for a while until Mike finally talks him into getting up and cleaning himself up. He does so in a daze, none of this even feels real. He walks out with Mike into the hall, and is accosted by the Juror he had blackmailed; he must have been waiting for him in the hall. The good for nothing little weasel.

"Thanks a bunch." Harvey says to him sarcastically.

"Serves you right." Says the guy

"What did you just say to me?" Harvey asks belligerently

"You heard me. People like you think they can power their way through anything. Remember Gabby Stone?"

Harvey draws a blank. What's he talking about?

"Yeah Gabby Stone, the woman you put in jail all those years ago because you wanted to protect your high profile Wall Street clients." The guy continues "She was my fiancé you worthless piece of shit. And she was innocent. You thought you had me, bribing and threatening me to turn the vote to your side. You were right when you thought i held some sway with the jury, i sure did. You know the majority had voted on letting your lady go? Yeah, but i swayed them like you wanted me to, just to the opposite side. You thought you had me in your pocket but no Mr smart guy, I had you. How do you like me now?"

Harvey swings at the guy but is deterred by Mike, "Harvey, Harvey hey, you don't need this right now. You got off lightly with Judge Martin in there." Mike says, trying to reason with him.

He manages to walk steadily out of the court room with Mike and Jessica and the others are already outside waiting for him. He gets in the car with Jessica, "Drive us to his apartment Ray." Says Jessica

"No," Harvey manages to croak out, "To the office, I need to pick up something."

Jessica relents and just lets him have his way.

...

It shouldn't have happened but you let it  
Now you're down on the ground screaming medic  
The only thing that comes is the post-traumatic stresses  
Shields, body armors and vests don't properly work  
That's why you're in a locker full of hurt  
The enemy within and all the fires from your friends  
The best medicine's to probably just let it win- Battle scars.

He remembers Gabby Stone now. He had indeed convinced her to take a deal to go to jail for eleven months because he had been representing his big short clients. He had not cared for one second if she was innocent or not, if not for Mike, he would have let her stay in jail for the whole eleven months. He had managed to get her out after only a week when he realized that she was truly innocent. He can't get Donna's face out of his mind as she was dragged away in handcuffs. He's been sitting in the chair in his office for a while now, not talking to anyone. He really doesn't have time for their sympathy displays. He has to find a way to get Donna out of there now. Jessica had wanted him to go home and get some sleep but how can he? How can he sleep while she is alone in that horrible place? The nightmare had come true. The unimaginable had happened. Donna was in prison. He failed, how did he fail? He had put his life into this, he had gambled and he had lost. He walks to his glass table that holds his scotch and pours himself a drink. He just stares at the drink in his hand, remembering the last time he had a drink. That was very late last night, with Donna. In this very office. It was just last night. He hurled the glass across the room, hitting his glass wall. He had held himself back from Donna because he was afraid that he would feel too much. That maybe this way, if he ever lost her it wouldn't hurt so much. Everything in him is screaming, he feels such rage he pulls out the chair from his desk and slams it into the glass table. The glass shatters along with his scotch and tumblers. The carpet is now splattered with a million tiny pieces of glass and a huge liquor stain. It's so symbolic of how he is feeling right now, like a giant hopeless mess. Mike runs into Harvey's office after hearing the noise, taking in the mess on the floor. "Harvey?" he says tentatively, at a safe distance seeing the look on Harvey's face. Jessica runs in too and takes in the scene. She walks to him and drags him gently to sit on the couch. His actions are sort of robotic now, his brain won't stop working. How did he fail? They did the ritual last night. He never loses court after that thing he does with Donna. Everything he had put into this had promised her. God, he had promised her. "Harvey?" Jessica says gently. "Harvey you need to get some sleep."

"But we did the ritual." He says out loud in wonderment, oblivious of his surroundings. "We did the ritual." He says again.

Jessica is puzzled sitting next to him with her hand on his shoulder. "What's he talking about?"She asks in confusion, Louis and Rachel have now also joined the party.

It is Mike who volunteers gingerly. "Ah umm... it's a thing that Harvey and Donna do before he goes to court. It's like a good luck charm or something."

Jessica nods in understanding, she looks at Harvey and he doesn't seem like he is even hearing what they are saying, he is not even aware of his surroundings right now. He seems fixated on something, continually muttering something unintelligible repeatedly. He's losing it. Jessica is really concerned, he looks bug eyed crazy.

"Mike," Jessica says, "call his therapist right now."

Mike gets Harvey's phone and searches for Dr Argard's number; Harvey does not stir from his stupor. He continues mumbling stuff.

"Dr Argard, its Mike Ross. I work for Harvey Specter." Mike says in introduction

"Yes Mike, what's wrong with Harvey? What's wrong?" she asks anxiously. The young man doesn't exactly sound calm.

"Donna...I think its sleep depravation or something..." Mike starts but Dr Argard cuts him off.

"Where is he?" she asks

"At the Firm." He says

"I'll be right there." Then she cuts off the line.

Dr Argad leaves her home in a rush. If anyone else other than Harvey himself is the one calling her on his behalf then something is seriously wrong. And she didn't need any more information other than the name Donna for her to know that this was 911 emergency. She walks into the lobby of the Firm and it's all so uncharacteristically quiet. She walks to Harvey's office, she notices a young man who looks distraught with worry hanging on to a young beautiful woman. That should be Mike and Rachel, she guesses before they introduce themselves, confirming her guess as they lead her into Harvey's office. And that must be Jessica; women at this Firm are quite over whelming. She remembers her encounter with Donna attesting to the fact. She stands up from where she is sitting with Harvey on the couch and introduces herself. Nailed it again. The other man in the room introduces himself, Louise. Ha, interesting. She's surprised that he's here too, obviously concerned for Harvey too, given what Harvey says about him. She's not that surprised though, she'd always guessed that they were more like rival brothers than real enemies.

She looks at Harvey, then at the mess on the carpet. The broken glass, the liquor and she understands. "He's been like this for a while now. He hasn't slept in days." Jessica says in way of explanation.

"What happened?" she asked. She has not seen Harvey in a long time. She is not up to date with what's happening in his life anymore.

"Donna got convicted today." Jessica says

She is shocked; she understands how that would have gone down with Harvey. She gets how Harvey is in this state. She walks to the couch and sits next to Harvey, where Jessica was sitting.

"Harvey", she says gently, he doesn't stair. "Harvey." She says again, shaking him a little.

He looks up at her, "Donna?" he says "Donna I am sorry. Please forgive me? I failed you and I am sorry"

"I forgive you Harvey."Dr Argard says, going along with it. She explains to the others in that hallucinations were symptomatic of sleep depravation. She has to calm down the concerned group. She takes out some medicine from her bag and a syringe. She injects him with it while soothingly talking to him to calm him down. "He'll be out like a light within minutes" she says to the group.

As he starts getting droopy she helps him to lay on the couch.

"I am sorry Donna." He says again, a little drowsy now.

"It's ok Harvey." Dr Argad says

"I love you. I love you so much." He whispers just before his eyes close in deep sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

 **Here is another one guys. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks again for the reviews. I love to hear what you think.**

Not that she doesn't know what prison is like, but she doesn't really. At least she didn't think it would be like this. After she gets processed, gets changed from her formal outfit that she had worn to court into an orange baggy shirt and pants, she is given a pillow and some sheets. She walks monotonously in line with the other newbees. The place looks more like a boarding school, only cheaper. The seniors are lurking around freely looking curiously at the new recruits that just came in. She doesn't look up as she follows the guards, she wouldn't want to lock eyes with some mean gangster type who'd accuse her of looking at her funny. This is not what she had imagined it to be. Her research had been way off the mark. It looks like a large hallway with bunk beds arranged in rolls. It holds about fifty people, this section. The other section has real cells, like what she had imagined a prison to be like. Only that section belongs to those who committed more serious crimes, those considered a little more dangerous. She would have preferred to be in that department, the confinement would have provided better security for her. This fat camp structure, it's a little bit too free. It's more like some sort of teenage reform camp, only everyone is mean here. She is shown to her bed and she pretends to be all cool as she settles down, making home. This is going to be her home for the next five years, dear Lord Jesus. She discreetly looks around and she sees that she's already getting some attention. She feels like she is in zombie land and she's the only human alive. Kind of like in the walking dead, and the zombies are circling, they smell fresh blood. She makes a note to keep a very low profile in this place and keep to herself, not that it would be that easy in this setup. It would have worked a little better if she had been given an actual cell. At least she could spend her next five years reading or something, at least that's what she had planned she would do when she was researching about prison. Well there goes her plan in the drain. She curls up in a foetal position on her bed, trying to block out all the noise.

"Hey", her next bed neighbough said to her. "You don't have to look so secluded and alienated in this place. You already look like a princess who just lost her white castle and that doesn't help matters much in here. Try to look tougher."

Donna takes in her 'friendly' neighbour's words while giving her a character assessment. She doesn't seem so bad, all things considered. "I am tough." She answers cordially.

Her neighbour snorts, "Yeah right. You look like a fish out of water." She says

Donna makes a mental note to look tougher, act a little less scared. She can do this. She has five years to put her act together. At that moment they are joined by another prison mate but this one doesn't look as friendly. By the looks on her neighbour's face, she doesn't think so either. Plus she has an entourage. She must be the 'warden' of this section of the prison.

"Hi princess." What are you in here for?" the new visitor asks

"Murder", Donna lies, well if she's going to look tough in here she better start by building a tough character. No one would want to mess with a murderer no matter how princesy they look.

She snorts. "Smart mouth." She says, obviously not buying it. "Just came here to extend a friendly hand. So whenever you need some protection kitten, you come to me. I sort 'a run this prison. Unless you decide to be an enemy, then we'll have a problem." She turns to leave, entourage in tow then she turns back. "By the way, everybody calls me daddy." She says with a sneer and walks away.

"Don't mess with that group, that's bad people." Her neighbour says in warning

Donna just nods, starting to see how this five year vacation is going to play out. Swell.

...

Harvey wakes up feeling weird, he takes in his surroundings. He's on the couch in his office and Mike is draped on a chair across, fast asleep he is practically drooping. He groans as he tries to get up, he has a bitch of a headache. What happened here? He looks at the broken glass of his table on the floor of his office. He now remembers everything, why hasn't anyone cleaned that up yet? He looks at the time; it's the middle of the day. He remembers everything and he wishes to God that he didn't. That he could just stay oblivious a while longer. Donna is in jail right now and he has to be working to get her out not take a nap. He springs into action and Mike stirs at his movements.

"Wow Harvey, where do you think you're going?" he asks alarmed

"To get Donna out of prison." Harvey barks back

Mike springs into action too, blocking his way. "See this right here is why you needed a baby sitter. The only place you are going is home for something to eat."

"Mike, get out of my way." He barks

"Harvey you can't go and see Donna right now. Remember the judge said you can't see her for three days. If you break that Harvey, then he'll probably block you from seeing her for a year or longer." Mike tries to reason with him. He'd have to call Jessica if he refuses. She did say to call her if Harvey wakes up being a jerk.

Harvey relents, not because Mike makes a lot of sense but because he couldn't see Donna like this. He is a mess and he should be her rock right now. A rock that she can lean on. Not this pathetic wimp that he is now. He's got to get some equilibrium. Mike takes Harvey to his apartment, trying to reign in his protective fussiness, Harvey hates fussy. "Hey, you've got to have something to eat Harvey; you've been asleep for about 38 hours."

"What? God Mike why didn't you wake me. I can't afford to be sleeping right now."

"After the trouble we went through to put you down tiger? No way." Mike says jokingly. "Plus ,to get the strength you need to rescue Donna, whatever it is you are going to do, you need to eat."

"I'll just take a shower thanks."Harvey walks away to his bedroom.

Mike takes that opportunity to try and cook something. He thinks better of it; whatever he'll attempt to cook will probably not help Harvey's appetite. He'd rather order out, maybe some pizza. But that's not quite the healthy food that Harvey needs right now. What would he like to eat? He has no clue what Harvey likes to eat. Oh, there's that Thai place that he and Donna always order from when they are working late. Bingo. He makes the call for the order then makes a call to Rachel and to Jessica to give them an update on Harvey. They had both gone to visit Donna while he was babysitting Harvey. They said she seemed ok, all things considered. He hopes that's enough to placate Harvey for the mean time.

...

I wish I couldn't feel, I wish I couldn't love  
I wish that I could stop cause it hurts so much  
And I'm the only one that's trying to keep us together  
When all of the signs say that I should forget her  
I wish you weren't the best, the best I ever had  
I wish that the good outweighed the bad  
Cause it'll never be over, until you tell me it's over- Battle scars

Harvey gets into his shower; his legs feel like they are made of rubber, he doesn't have the strength to stand so he leans against the wall. He lets the water hit his face, he doesn't move. His heart hurts so bad taking a breath is excruciating. He sees her, the way she had looked back at him as she was being dragged away in handcuffs. The way she had called his name as if somehow he could save her. And he had failed. He can't get that look on her face out of head. The good thing about showers is that no one can see you cry if you want to just for a moment let loose and let them fall. If it gets too heavy the best place to let it out is in a shower. No one will see. For that one moment he allows himself to be weak. He doesn't have to work so hard to hold it in now. He lets it out. The tears just fall from his eyes, immediately being washed away by the water from the shower. It's perfect, this shower. He can cry like a baby in here and no one will ever know. He doesn't know how long he's been in there, he must have cried buckets. He gets out of the shower feeling drained but a little lighter now. He gets in his bedroom and puts on his power suit, though power is the opposite of how he feel right now. But he's going to go see people and he has to get the look right. First on the list is Judge Martin, he has to let him see Donna. He walks out and sees Mike sitting on his kitchen stool impatiently waiting for him.

"Dude, finally. You're not the only one in need of food you know. I am starving."Mike complained.

"Well why don't you go ahead and eat then. I didn't stop you, besides I am not hungry." Harvey said, ready to walk out.

"Come on Harvey," Mike whines, "look what I got, your favourite." He says lifting up the two boxes of Thai for him to see.

Harvey does a double take. He freezes, just staring at the boxes that Mike is a little puzzled.

Harvey is really not hungry but then the Thai reminds him of Donna. It's her favourite, he never really liked it. He eats it because of her, and he only eats it when he's eating it with her. Now he can't walk away from it, he'd feel like somehow he's walking away from her.

"That's Dona's favourite," he says curtly

Mike is stunned, mouth agape, he doesn't know what to say. Crap! I did it again, now he's really not going to eat .Good job genius, how could you not know that? He berates himself for that mistake.

Harvey relents and takes a sit on the stool and takes the box from Mike. He opens the box and the aroma hits hard, it all reminds him of her. He just stares at the food for a while and Mike is starting to get worried.

"Harvey, dig in." He says encouragingly

Harvey dumps the chop sticks that Mike hands him and takes a fork instead.

"Can't use chopstick?" Mike says teasingly

"I hate them. Donna always makes sure she orders this with a wooden or plastic fork for me. I am a guy, I eat bigger positions and an instrument that can actually achieve that for me is golden. Chopsticks are not very manly." He says with a wistful look on his face.

"I am surprised that you actually use plastic spoons to eat. Isn't that like beneath you or something?" Mike asks

"Donna makes me. She says it's her way of keeping me grounded." He says "She has me drinking out of a can and stuff."

Mike make a fake choke sound, "You drink out of a can? Hell, Dona drinks out of a can? That's so unuptown like." he says

Harvey snorts, "You'd be surprised at some of the unuptown like things she does." he says sadly. And he starts stuffing himself with the food, fighting to get it down his now constricted throat.

...

Second day in prison, not so bad. She got her first visitors today, Rachel and Jessica. She felt ward seeing them while she is dressed in these overalls. It was hard. She got a view of her life from the outside, a life she will be missing while cooped up in here. She doesn't know if she wants visitors anymore. This will be her next five years. She will have to adjust, its going to be a long ride. She is lost in though as she walks back to her bed . Suddenly she feels a strange vibe,like people are looking at her atmosphere seems to have changed somehow; it's a little tenser. Everyone seems to be looking at her weird, or maybe she's just spooked. This should be normal here,its a prison after all. Before she is even able to sit down she is accosted by guard.

"Follow me this way fish." The guard says without explanation and Donna has no choice but to obey and follow her. She's a guard after all; she's basically the good guys. She is taken to the back of the kitchen but something doesn't feel right though, she is really spooked this time. "Where are we going?" she asks suspiciously.

"Just follow me quietly fish." The guard says

Donna turns to go back; this doesn't feel right at all. She is suddenly surrounded, Daddy and her entourage. Her hair stands up at the back of her head; fear grips her and she just freezes.

"Excuse me, I need to pass." Donna says as she makes to move forward out of the circle.

"You're not going anywhere princess. We have some settling to do." Daddy says

She will not go down easy. She looks at the challenge and braces herself.

"You know, when I saw your uptown visitor friends it suddenly hit me. You're the people who put me in here four years ago. What happened to you, ship abandoned you or what?" daddy says.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Donna says guardedly

"Oh yes you do, lawyers and cops are not allowed in these walls don't you know that?"

"I am not a..." Wham! A punch in the face. Donna reels from the impact. She stays bent over for a bit then gets up with a swing straight at daddy, square in the eye. Right back at you bitch. Daddy blanches and staggers from the force of the punch. She puts her hand on her face,testing for blood. She turns back and looks at Donna with a deadly group is still,the shear shock of what just happened holding them immobile. How dare she,how dare she; to Daddy? In that moment punches start coming from everywhere. She can't get any other punches in as she is too busy protecting herself with those same hands. She hears the guard now yelling at the group, "Hey that's enough. Let her go now." At that Daddy lifts her hands in mock surrender,taking a step back and the group does the same. The guard now confronts Daddy, " Hey this is not what we talked about. You said you just wanted to rough her up a little."

Daddy looks unrepentant at the guard, "Sorry boss,things sort'a escalated.

With the hands that were holding her now gone, Donna realizes that she cannot stand on her own two feet she hits the floor, lights out.

...

Harvey has been sitting on Dr Argard's couch for some time now. He doesn't know where to begin except that he is beat. Judge Martin had told him to quit whatever he was smoking and get his head on wont be seeing Donna today. Well at least tomorrow is the third day, he just has to go through today. Dr Argard has been a good sport so far. She hasn't tried to strike up a conversation with him yet, which is good. Maybe she is waiting for him to start pouring out his heart. Well she is going to wait for a long time. He had wanted to share, he really did; but what could he say? So he's messed up so what. Judge Martin already thought he was smoking pot. He can't remember the last time he smoked pot. Well actually he does,that was with Jessica and Louise at the office right after Mike's arrest. This place makes him think better, if only Dr argard would just stay like this. He had almost forgotten that she was there. And that's a hard thing to do when she is sitting there staring at him like she is quietly psycho analyzing whatever, as long as she leaves him be. Then she opens her mouth to talk and the spell is broken. Fuck it all to hell, he really doesn't need this. He doesn't know why he even came here in the first place but he really doesn't want to talk. He gets up to leave ,right in the middle of Dr Argard's yapping, whatever she is yapping about. He doesn't give a shit.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 **Hey guys. Again thx for the reviews, you guys are the best. So sorry for all the angst but it has to be there. You will get it in the end, just stay with me here. So here's another one. Don't hate me.**

Nobody wants to be the only one left standing  
Nobody wants to be the only one to understand  
And now I'm seeing the way that you're leaving  
Without me

Now go on and drift away  
The tide can hold you out  
Go quiet now  
Go sound go safe  
Open hands are hard to hold on to anyway  
Anyway

 **-** **Ingrid Michaelson - Open Hands**

Donna wakes up in the infirmary, her whole body hurts. She has a collection of where she is and how she came to be here and for the first time she is actually glad she is hurt, it's peaceful here. She has developed some phobia of her prison holdings; the thought of her little bed in that very crowded prison makes her gag. And now she has enemies, she really was trying to play nice, to fit in and all. Now she has to face 5years of this. She can't trust anyone, not the guards, not the inmates and not even the warden. For some reason everyone seems to have it in for her. The warden had asked her what had happened. She had wanted to tell but wisdom told her not to. The worst thing to be in these walls is a snitch. She would never live to finish her sentence in this prison if she does tell. Hell, at this rate she is not quite sure she'll live that long anyway. She's skipped prison yard today, thank God for small mercies. She turns on her side to face the door, carefully adjusting her arm which is in a sling, groaning as every movement causes her pain. At that moment a guard walks in, she's wearing that face. Maybe she had counted her chicks too soon before they hatched after all. What is it this time? She should fake sleep more.

"Paulsen, you have a visitor." the guard says.

Her first reaction is excitement, it must be Harvey. This is the first day after his three day ban from seeing her. She had been missing him something fierce. He must be weighed down with guilt after what happened. Knowing him, he thinks this is his fault and she has to take care of him again. Somehow assure him that this is not his fault, but of course he won't believe her. She could always try though. She gets up from her bed but freezes when she catches her face in the mirror. Oh my God, she can't see him like this. Her cheek is bruised; she has a black eye plus the sling that's on her arm. She can't see him like this. She can't let him see her like this. She takes some steps back to her bed, sitting there dejected. What is she going to do now? If she refuses to see him he will probably think that she blames him and is angry at him or something. But she can't see him like this. If anything he will feel worst. And how is she going to face him like this? She really looks like a prison mate now, totally fits in. She's not the Donna he's used to. He has never seen her less than perfect and even when she was in her PJs she'd always been perfect.

"Please tell him that I can't see him today." She says to the guard.

The guard just shrugs, "suit yourself missy." She says walking away then she pauses. "How the hell did you know it was a he anyway? Only get male visitors up in here princess?" she asks sarcastically.

Donna ignores the implied insult, "I know its Harvey Specter, and I don't want to see him today." She says cordially.

The guard just looks at her disdainfully and walks away.

...

Harvey is pacing nervously in the waiting room. He is anxious to see her but he dreads it at the same time, now that he's actually here. His palms are sweating and he can't sit still. He looks up to see a guard strolling towards him, but there is no Donna behind her. He waits for it.

"Donna Paulsen won't be able to see you today." The guard says curtly

His heart hurts,why? Is she angry with him? She blames him doesn't she? Or is she ok? Is she hurt? All these questions run rampage in his brain.

"Why the hell not?" he asks the guard who just shrugs and strolls back out of the room, clearly dismissing him. Oh hell no! No one dismisses Harvey Specter like that. He makes his way in quick belligerent strides towards the warden's office. He waits outside her office as the secretary makes a call to announce him. After a while he is let in. The Warden is sitting in her power chair, her guard fully on, prepared to say no to whatever he has to say.

"Mr Specter what can I do for you?" she asks

"Donna Paulsen. I need to see her." He says

"Well that's too bad Mr Specter because she has refused to see you." she says

"There is no way that Donna will refuse to see me . If anything has happened to her I will hold you responsible. And believe me I will make your life miserable." He says menacingly.

She looks at his face and she sees that he's not playing. She knows his reputation and lawyers in general are a pain in the ass. She doesn't want to be tied up in some legal mambo jumbo for the next five years so she decides to play ball. Maybe if she did he'll not be a pain about Donna's injuries sustained on her watch, so to speak. Though whatever happens in this prison between inmates and or guards is anything but on her watch. Still she will be held accountable and Mr Pit-bull here won't rest until he has her head on a platter. Donna is a good girl though; she has picked up on the systems of this prisnyland in only a few days. She won't snitch; if she wanted to she would have rated out her inmates that day. She'll be good. Feeling reassured the warden calls in the guard outside her office.

"Call Donna Paulsen to my office. Tell her I want to see her" she says to the guard who nods and leaves the room. Harvey sits down in the chair opposite the warden's desk. He is not going to make small talk with this woman so he just stares outside the window. The Warden doesn't try either obviously reading his mood correctly.

"I am going to need some privacy when I meet up with Donna. Would you mind giving us your office? He asks

"No Mr Specter you will not have my office. I am only doing you a favor here. Now you will go to another holding room where you can meet with Ms Paulsen but be rest assured, you're not allowed any special treatment. You will be supervised in your meeting and the usual rules apply. Now if you don't mind, please follow me."

Harvey concedes that one; as far as he is concerned he won. He gets to see Donna and that's all he cares about. He is led into a holding room; it's more private than the usual visiting room. It's got a glass on the wall which he assumes is a surveillance glass. There will be people on the other side of that glass looking in, seeing and hearing everything he says. He won't be able to see who would be on the other side of the glass though but he has a very well idea. He paces the room, anxiously waiting for Dona. He is so nervous he can't remember ever being this sweaty palm, heart racing nervous.

...

Donna is led hand cuffed by the guard to the Warden's office, or so the guard had told her that that's where they were going. She has never been to the Warden's office before so she wouldn't know if that was true or not. Why would the Warden suddenly want to see her anyway?She had been surprised when the guard had come back after about 30 mins and she was fully prepared to say no to her again. But its past visit hour, Harvey wouldn't still be there right? As stubborn as he was, visit hour was over. Did Harvey perhaps make some waves after she had refused to see him? Maybe he had threatened the Warden or something and again they are going to take it out on her. She is scared at that thought. Or maybe they wan't to interrogate her about her injuries again. She walks on with the guard propelling her forward non too gently. It's difficult to walk as fast with cuffs on and a sling on top of that, not to mention the pain in her body. Then they meet up with the Warden in the hallway. Donna is confused, why are they meeting in a hallway? Then the Warden looks at the handcuffs and orders the guard to take them off her. "No hand cuffs, we don't want any trouble." She says to the guard. The hand cuffs are taken off and Donna keeps herself from rubbing the sting off. She is then led into a small room,mentally preparing herself for some sort of torture. She looks up and her heart stops. He's right there and God she had missed him. She stops breathing for a moment, how the hell is he here? She traces his face with her eyes, almost like she is touching him. She would like to touch that face, feel his skin against her palm one more time. She is so absorbed in her fantasy that she takes a while to notice the look on his face, his eyes. He looks outraged. He looks like he's seen a ghost. She suddenly remembers how she looks, the black eye, and the bruises. She is torn between fleeing the scene and running into his arms. She feels ashamed; she should have never let him see her like this.

"Oh my God! Oh my God Donna!" he says outraged. "Who the hell did this to you?"

She just stands there, not knowing what to say. He walks towards her, his hand stretching to touch the bruised check. Harvey cannot believe what he's seeing. For goodness's sake it has only been three days. Three freaking days! His mind is screaming in recoil. How could they? Who would do something like this to Donna?

The look in his eyes is her undoing. She feels tears threatening but she can't cry now or Harvey will feel worst. She can't help it though; his presence here is like fresh air. He takes her into his arms and she just breaths in deep. Its so good being in his arms like this.

"No touching!" someone yells from the glass wall but Harvey doesn't let her go.

"Go screw yourself." he whispers defiantly.

"No touching", the guard says again and Donna reluctantly disentangles herself from Harvey's embrace. She moves to take a seat on a small chair on a small table in the room and Harvey takes the one opposite. "Donna tell me right now who did this to you?"He asks her

She just looks away, not wanting to lie to him but knowing that she couldn't tell him. "I caught an elbow playing basketball Harvey, just let it go."

"Let it go? Really Donna? Someone does this to you and I should just let it go?"He asks incredulously

"That's what I just said. Let it go Harvey." She says firmly

"I will turn this prison upside down until I payback whoever did this to you. The warden has got a lot to answer for and by God I am going to make her pay!" He is so furious he doesn't care who's hearing him anymore. He doesn't understand why Donna is sitting there covering for this person.

"No you won't." She says calmly.

"Donna..."

"Harvey this is my life now!" she cuts him off, her voice suddenly raised. "Ok? I am the one who has to live with these same people for the next 5 goddamn years. So don't go and make waves in this prison for me. I have to live with the consequences." She sees understanding in his eyes and continues. He has to get this or she will be in a lot of trouble. "So I caught an elbow playing basketball Harvey. That's all there is to it." She says firmly. "None of this is your fault Harvey. But you've got to let me go. I have a different life now."

"Time's up." The guard says stepping inside the room to take Donna away.

Harvey watches her go; she doesn't look back at him this time. He can't have this. He can't have this. He just can't.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

 **Hey guys. I hope all the Prison break fans enjoyed the last chapter. Just reminiscing. So here's another one. keep on shiping.**

 _But I would walk five hundred miles_

 _And I would walk five hundred more_  
 _Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles_  
 _To fall down at your door- 500mile- Sleeping at last_

He knows what to do. It's crazy but it's the only way. It will only take a few phone calls, some errands and a certain amount of begging at Cahill's feet. He asks Mike to pick up an envelope from Vanessa and leave it in his apartment. Almost everything is in place, now the begging begins.

He finds Cahill busy on his laptop and he takes a deep breath before taking a step inside the office.

"To what do I owe the pleasure Harvey?" Cahill says in greeting

"I need a favour." He says

"Don't you always?" Cahill says sarcastically

"I am sure you heard about Donna?" Harvey asks

"I am sorry about that Harvey but how can I possibly be of help." Cahill asks almost dismissively

This is not going as planned at all. Cahill's no walk in the park, at least not as he had expected.

"You probably didn't know this but Donna and I are in a relationship. In fact before her conviction we had already planned on getting married." Harvey says

Cahill is surprised, but come to think of it he isn't really,he'd always suspected that there was more between those two. But Harvey Specter, Married? That's more shock than anyone can handle. Harvey is an ice bag; he doesn't do feelings, well at least not much. The man is a chronic player, getting married ha?

"Well well well who knew?" Cahill says

"No one really, we managed to keep it quiet. We wanted to get some things out of the way first." Harvey says

"That's all well and good Harvey but what do you want from me?" Cahill asks to the point

"I need Donna transferred, she's already bruised and battered and it's been only three days. How's she going to survive in there for 5 years at this rate?" He says

"I am sorry to hear that Harvey but there's really nothing I can do about it." Cahill says dismissively

"You owe me Cahill and there's very little that the SCC is unable to do and authorizing a simple prison transfer is not one of them." Harvey says firmly "I am having trouble with the visits and all. I know it may be a trivial issue to you but I need a more flexible visit time than what I am getting?" he says

"Alright that can be fixed Harvey; I'll just make a phone call."

"Actually what I mean is I need to have conjugal rights and the only way to have that is if we actually get married. See, Donna doesn't actually think that I'll wait for her to come out of prison and I need to reassure her that I'll be here waiting." Harvey says

Cahill almost laughs, this is unbelievable. "Harvey are you telling me that in all this chaos going on with Donna right now all you can think about is your dick?"

Harvey smirks and shrugs nonchalantly."What can I say? I am a red blooded male after all. Besides my dick issues, I really need this to happen .For Donna."

"I must say I am not that surprised, you two just seemed a little bit too cozy for just a professional relationship. Where you banging her the whole time?" Cahill asks

Harvey feels his temper raising at his way of reference but he reigns it in. "We were just friends, this is a recent development." He says calmly

"How did you two meet anyways?"

"It's a long story Cahill, another day." He says

"Well word of advice Harvey, don't marry a girl because she feels bad or any such thing. Donna can still marry you when she gets out, if you're still waiting that is. You don't have to sacrifice yourself for five years Harvey. That's not very wise for a man of your caliber." Cahill says

"I love Donna and I am not going anywhere. I am also doing this for me. I want to marry her because she is the only woman I will ever want. I really need to do this man. Can you help me?" he pleads

"I can arrange for you to have a ceremony there Harvey, it's been done a few times. It's not a big deal." He says

"See that's the thing, I don't want to have the ceremony in prison. I want to marry her in a proper chapel, something almost normal you know. I don't want her to remember our wedding day in prison."

"I appreciate your sentimentality Harvey but exactly what do you need from me?"He asks

"Remember how you got Mike out of jail for that one night so we could convince him to take a deal? I need you to do the same for Donna. Just for one night. During her transfer. I swear I will owe you man." He says

"I don't care if you'll owe me for life Harvey that is just ridiculous to suggest doing such a thing again just so you can get your conjugal. Do you know what strings I had to pull to make that happen?"Cahill says

"Look Cahill I am desperate here. You owe me a lot more than that." Harvey says. He spends a few more minutes arguing with Cahill until he relents.

"Ok, when do you want this done?" he asks

"As soon as yesterday. Can you arrange it for tonight man? I already have a priest waiting to perform the ceremony for us in the morning tomorrow. Tonight will be perfect. That way I get to spend the night with her then we get married in the morning." He says

"Ok then, I'll arrange for it. This is only because I owe you so much Specter." Cahill says

"Now I'll owe you big-time man. Thanks a lot." He says

Harvey takes a deep breathe as he walks out of Cahill's office. Ok ,that done. Now the big part. It has been two days since he has seen Donna. Harvey finds himself thinking about the old times. He thinks back to the time he first met her. She had knocked his socks off with her pretty face and then she had propositioned him, or so he had thought at first. Only it turned out she had propositioned him for a job at his desk. He had been fully prepared to take her home that night. What a highlight of the celebration of that night that would have been.

 _Well enough about me, let's talk about you."He had said as they were conversing siting in the bar._

 _'Oh my favourite subject."she had said lightly_

 _'You know what I think? I think you favourite subject didn't just come up to me to find out why I went to trial. I think you want something." he ventured, looking into her eyes suggestively_

 _"I sure do"she picked it up_

 _"And I think I might be ready to give it to you."he had said_

 _"It's not sex" she was like pouring water on fire_

 _"Well then never mind." he says drinking his scotch._

 _She had laughed , turning her head to the side ,a little flustered. "Wow you're just going to be that honest about it."_

 _"Saves time." he had said._

He had been so hooked and she didn't even want to sleep with him. Already they had found a rhythm, their easy back and forth banter had started that very moment. It was so easy being with her he had actually forgotten how boring the party had been. A bunch of stuffed up lawyers in suits celebrating his fist trial win in a bar. He didn't even get along with most of them. But his mood had changed at that moment. The way they talked, the way they smiled at each other the way he felt, it was so natural, so real. Whereas he had been trying to pretend to enjoy the small painful party his fellow ADA's had thrown for him, now he was no longer pretending. He was fully enjoying this now. She had said it was his lucky day because he got to meet her. Well she had been right. No, actually it wasn't just his lucky day. It was his most significant day. The day he got to meet the angel and the devil at the same time. That's the exact day and time he had met Charles Forssmann. The man was a man witch. He couldn't call him a wizard because a wizard sounds like some being with magical powers, almost admirable. However 'witch' sounds so bitchy and evil, the same qualities that were Charles Forssmann. And as dramatic as it sounds his angel had saved him. She was his guardian angel. She had been that then and she had been hat to him ever since. Not that he always listened, but he had learned his lesson well with Forssmann.

She had come to work as his secretary then, and he thought one of these days he'll get to take her home. Because, come on, all those sexual innuendos between them, the chemistry, the tension. They were clearly attracted to each other but she still insisted that she didn't sleep with men she worked with. He bid his time, but nothing happened. She was truly something; it made him even more curious about her, wanting to spend more time with her because she was so intriguing. She was different from anyone he had ever met. She gave back as good as she got and still managed to shock him some. They had developed a rhythm over the period they worked together. They would tell each other anything even about their dates, since because of her rule they were dating other people and not each other. No subject was off limits. She would come from her date and tell him all about it over lunch the next day at the office and he would do the same. He felt so comfortable telling her about his dates, the crazy ex girlfriends and the needy times. They'd laugh over it at lunch. Before he knew it she had become his best friend, his confidant, and his favourite person. He would go on a date, get laid and the next thing he was thinking of was telling Donna about how the girl had big feet and ugly toe nails. They had become so comfortable talking about these subjects each other. He remembered how it all first started, with her wanting to shock him using his own weapons against him seeing as how he was so forward with women, especially her. Wanting to shock her into sleeping with him perhaps? It was one of their very first lunches, back when he thought she could be an easy lay. "I mean come on, he was Harvey Specter, how long could she resist? He would drop these sexual innuendos and sometimes she'll just look at him and smile reluctantly. They were sitting at a nearby restaurant having lunch, talking about this subject she had learned on discovery channel.

 _He almost choked, coughing loudly. "Wow. That's . . . I don't even know what that is."_

 _She dissolved into giggles and then moved out of the way when the waitress brought her food. "Don't be so quick to mock it. That's a billion-dollar idea, moneyman. If that comes across your desk soon, you'll thank me for the heads-up."_

 _She dug into her salad, taking an enormous bite, and he tried not to study her. She wasn't like any of the girls he knew. She was pretty—actually, she was beautiful. She was silly, and confident, and so much her own person it almost made the rest of the world seem monochromatic. He had no idea if she even took herself seriously, but she certainly didn't expect him to._

 _"You've always been so obviously sexual and open about it. You're this hot, player guy who doesn't apologize for enjoying women. I mean, if I noticed that about you on our first meeting, it was obvious. Sex is natural. It's what our bodies do. I like that you are who you are."_ _Before he could answer and tell her the theory was actually pretty good, she barrelled on. "Stupid amounts of money are spent on this kind of thing. Viagra for boners. Four hundred different shapes of fake boobs. Which filler feels the most natural? It's a man's world, Harvey. Women won't stop to think that you're putting actively growing cells in their vag**a. Next year, one of your nongirlfriends will get her hymen regenerated, and she'll give her new virginity to you, Harvey. You"_

 _She leaned down, put her lips around her straw, and sucked, her hazel eyes locked on his. And with that lingering, playful look, he felt his c*ck harden slightly. Releasing the straw, she whispered, "To you. And will you appreciate what a gift that is? What a sacrifice?"_

 _Her eyes danced and then she tilted her head back and burst out laughing. Holy fuck, he liked this girl. He liked her a lot._

 _"I am speechless right now." he says , shaking his head at her._

 _"_ _Exactly." She studied the side of his face. "Can I ask you some personal things?"_

 _"_ _You need my permission now?"_

 _She giggled, shoving his shoulder. "I'm serious."_

 _He slid his empty pint glass down the table a little and turned to meet her eyes. "You can ask me anything you want if you buy me a drink tonight."_

 _She raised her hand, "I have a date tonight, some other time. Are you ready?"_

 _He shrugged._

 _Leaning forward, she asked, "Guys really like the anal, don't they?"_

 _He closed his eyes for a bit, holding in a laugh. "It's just called anal. Not the anal."_

 _"_ _Don't they?" she repeated._

 _Sighing, he rubbed my face. Did he even want to go there with her? "I guess? I mean, yeah."_

 _"_ _So you've done it?"_

 _"_ _Seriously, Donna?"_

 _"_ _See?" she asked, leaning closer to grab his attention. "What are you thinking about now?"_

 _Tilting his bottle to his lips, he said, "Nothing."_

 _"_ _If I was a violent woman, my palm would be smacking your cheek right now."_

 _That made him laugh and he gave in and explained something._

 _"_ _No, I mean . . . I get that. I just mean for me, sometimes I worry that I would bite him? Have you ever walked through a china section at a fancy store and you have that panicked moment where you're totally sure you're going to flail suddenly and break all of the Waterford crystal?"_

 _He leaned over, laughing. This girl was f**king unreal. "So you're worried when you have a dick in your mouth you're just going to . . . bite?"_

 _She started laughing, too, and then before they knew it they were doubled over at the prospect. But almost at the same time, they died down a little and he realized she was staring at his mouth. His heart stopped and his breath caught, then she looked away and started yapping about something else._

He sighs remembering that time. They were so in sync; he had never found anybody he wanted to spend that much time with without getting a little bored. He was the guy who always wanted some me time, but with Donna, time would fly and he wouldn't even notice. Then the 'other time' had happened, and it had been incredible. It blew his mind. The next day they had agreed to work together again and put that night out of their minds. Well at least that's what she had wanted and he'd always do what she said or at least try. Things had changed from that day on. They were closer more familiar with each other but with an invisible wall between them. The line that was never to be crossed again was more marked. Both trying to pretend that what had happened hadn't happened. Or that it was even possible to forget. The innuendo was still there but at a minimal, safe. Twelve years down the line it was still one of his most vivid fantasies. And lately he had been having dreams about that night. It's the oldest story in the world. One day you're a young promising DA and planning for someday. And then quietly and without you ever really noticing, someday is today. And then someday is yesterday. And this is your life.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

 **Hey guys, he's another one. Don't forget to review.**

 **I had to fall to finally see you were right in front of me.- Right in front of me celine dion**

She had been discharged from the infirmary yesterday and now she is back on her bed. She had dreaded going back, and seeing Daddy with a black eye had caused her to want to bolt. Now she was going to be in real trouble. She was afraid to be accosted by the gang again, in the bathroom or out in the yard. But nothing like that had happened yet. She kept to herself, pretending to read. Non of the inmates wanted to be associated with her anyways, seing as she was on Daddy's blacklist. This was her second day back to the infirmary and daddy was yet to approach her about their feud. She curls upon her bed and pretends to read, blocking out the noise arround her. She should try and make nice, be a bit social. Thisis going to be 5 years of her life and she can't go it without friends. He neighbough Marcy is the only person she can count on as a friend in here but right now she isn't even talking to her. She looks up briefly from her book to find Daddy approaching her bed and her hair stood out on end with fear. Here we go. She is surprised when Daddy just stretches out her hand for a hand shake. Donna freezes for a moment, suspicious. "Take the hand princess, it's a piece offering." Daddy says

Donna shakes her hand, "Why?" she asks

"You have the stuguts to give me a black eye. I could kill you for it or admire you for it. Let's just say I am in a forgiving mood today." Daddy says

Donna just nods her head at her and gets back to her pretend reading as soon as Daddy moves back to her quarters.

"I've got to say that's some real charm you've got there princess. It doesn't hurt that you're not bad to look at, bruises and all." Her neighbough says

"What can I say, I am Donna." She says lightly, taking a deep breath of relief. She feels like a weight has been taken off her shoulders. Maybe she can try and make friends now, since she's just been cleared.

"Paulsen, the Warden wants to see you. Follow me." Says the guard who had just come in.

Again? She wonders. Is Harvey here again? That man is going to be the death of her. Now that she had made-up with Daddy he's now brewing some new trouble for her with the Warden no less. She is going to tell him in no uncertain terms that he'll get her killed in here if he keeps this up. She is lost in thought as she walks with the guard towards the Warden's office. She is ushered in and finds herself standing on ceremony before a woman who doesn't look any too pleased to see her.

"Take a sit Paulsen." She says to her sternly

Donna does so hesitantly. She squares her shoulders and waits for it.

"Your man must have some real friends uptown to pull what he just did." The Warden starts. "I don't like people going over my head." She says dangerously. "I have a good mind to have you clobbered before your transfer. Anyway, you're more trouble than you're worth." The Warden goes on and on but Donna is hung-up on one word. Transfer. What does she mean transfer? Her heart is now beating fast. Could she dare hope? What did Harvey do this time?

"Much to my disapproval you are being transferred to another fancy prison, courtesy of your boyfriend." The Warden says

Donna has no idea what she's talking about. "Transferred? When?"

"Today, as a matter of fact right now." The Warden says.

...

Mike is out of his depth here. He's been tasked with the most difficult task in the world, arrange Harvey's wedding. And he better not screw it up. He had been shocked. At first he thought Harvey was feeding him a load of bull crap. Just when had he had this sudden change of heart. As surprises go, this was beyond. But he had sounded sincere. For the first time Harvey Specter was in touch with his feelings. Mike would snort and say it was too little to late if it wasn't so sad. It was sad that it had to take Donna going to prison for Harvey to realize what he wanted. And now they are arranging this sorry wedding just so they can see each other in prison. He had arranged with Father Walker to conduct the wedding, it had not been easy since it was such short notice. The wedding was tomorrow for crying out loud. He remembers when Harvey had told him this latest piece of news. He'd been doing a lot of odd errands for Harvey since his visit to Donna in prison, a subject Harvey refused to talk about. He had just changed, he was somewhat more determined. Like he had found a new life purpose or something. He wasn't having them panic attacks or anything like that but his behavior wasn't any less odd. The sudden twist in things was a little off. Then he had explained how he had been in love with Donna all along. How he can't live without her. Well that much Mike and everyone else at the Firm already knew. He had pretty much declared his love for Donna in the office that day when he was under sleep depravation hallucinations. this time, however he had told someone else about his love for Donna. Hell he had told whole circle of friends he had. And he was stone cold sober, not under any therapy prescribed drugs, not under any psychotic break and certainly not under duress. Mike wanted to catch it on camera. So he had been tasked to arrange the whole thing, no biggy. At least there won't be that many people at the wedding,only his close circuit of friends from the firm. This was sort of a covert operation since Donna wasn't even supposed to be out in the open air at had pulled some strings. So of course the less people who knew about this the better. He had accompanied Harvey to deliver the news to the others. Jessica included. They had been dumbstruck but accepted graciously. Given his behavior after Donna's conviction this was to be expected. Well not really but it wasn't much of a shocker. They had all rallied on behind his idea, after the shock that is. No one called him off it. Jessica will be attending with Jeff, Louise and Tara, Mike and Rachel and also Gretchen. Everything was in place for the big day tomorrow. They were all supposed to wait for the couple at the chapel, no best man fussiness or any such things. Mike will just have to come in the coming with Ray to pick up Harvey and Donna for the ceremony. Harvey didn't want anyone arranging his tie and fussing over him best man style. Donna will handle his clothes and stuff, he had said. And he had specifically tasked him to keep Rachel away from his apartment for the night. He hadn't even told Donna yet so yeah he was going to need the night to convince her. Mike thought he'd probably need more than that, having to spring it up on her like that. Donna may not take it well. Anyways he only had one night and he didn't want Rachel busting in on their love bubble just to give Donna a hug and to campaign to be maid of honor. He needed the night, no one was to disturb.

...

She is led out of the prison yard, still in her prison uniform. This all seems unreal. Maybe she is dreaming. The air is fresh she inhales deeply. Somehow the air is different and it's only separated by a wall. There is a black SUV waiting for her as she makes her way out of the gate. She sees Harvey, in a suit as usual walking purposely towards her. He looked good. She notices Cahill in the front of the car, window rowed down as he looks out. So Harvey had somehow again made a deal with Cahill for her. He had managed to do this for her, she knew he would. She smiles at him and he smiles back.

"Hi honey." He says with a smile.

Wait what? What was that? She is taken aback by his greeting she just looks at him stupefied. He walks on towards her without breaking his stride then he hugs her tight. She inhales, he smells so good, so Harvey. She had missed that scent, his scent. She forgets his weird greeting for a moment, then he whispers in her ear. "Kiss me back."

She opens her mouth to ask him what was going on but he clamps her mouth shut with a kiss. She is so shocked for a moment she doesn't respond, she just freezes. Then all at once her lip responds to his, she couldn't not respond to save her life. Not because he had told her to kiss him back but because her whole body betrayed her to concentrate on that kiss. This is the reason why they never touched. They were like two magnets that were being held apart now finally found themselves together,gravity or some such. It was so natural when their lips met. After ten years the feelings between them haven't changed. It's been ten years since they kissed, ten years since the other time. The kiss goes on forever; they both forget the outside world. She is all hot and bothered, her heart is racing and she can't stop kissing him. They both come up for air, panting. He looks into her eyes, shocked, as if he had not initiated this. What was this anyway? A show for Cahill? Why?

"Just go along with it, I'll explain latter." he says pulling her by the hand towards the car. He opens the door for her and she gets in as he gets in on the other side to sit next to her.

"Hello Donna." Cahill says in greeting. "Congratulations on the upcoming nuptials." He says

Nuptials? What does he mean? But Harvey said to play along and she just nods and says "Thanks."

The rest of the ride is quiet; Harvey has his arm around her the entire time. It's comforting ad confusing. He's not one for public display of affection. She will find out what's going on soon enough. They get to his apartment and he helps her out. He leans in to talk to Cahill, "Thanks man." He says

"I'll post two guards here for the night, not that I don't trust you but standard procedure." He says

"Right, Thanks anyway." Harvey says then turns and walks her into the building. As soon as he opens the door into his apartment she turns to him.

"What the hell is going on Harvey?"


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Hey guys, here's another one. Am trying to be quick with these updates before i have a mind to abandon the story. Keep on shipping and drop a review when ever you can.

 **Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up."- Quote by I don't know who, but it's nice.**

Louise feels dreadful. He has been such a coward not going to see Donna in prison all this while. Now she's going to be married to Harvey and be transferred to another prison facility tomorrow. All in a day's time. He won't be able to see her again properly outside of prison if he doesn't see her now. He hates prisons and seeing Donna in one will not be too good for him. That's why he had been avoiding going to visit her all this while. He never visited Mike while he was in prison. It wasn't because he blamed him for the trouble he caused the Firm or any such thing contrary to what most had assumed was his reason for not visiting. It was simply because he hates prisons. He has an unhealthy phobia of prisons and he would just die if he were to be in one ever. For a lawyer that wasn't very proper and he was truly ashamed of himself. He could not stand seeing someone he loved so much in prison and he has to see her and try and explain himself to her. He makes his way to Harvey's apartment praying that she will find it in her heart to forgive him. He finds a government issued SUV parked outside Harvey's apartment building with two guys in suits keeping watch .Typical, he snorts, where do they think she's going to go? She's with Harvey for goodness's sake. They can't even give her a moment to peace. He has a mind to go tell them to take a hike. He walks into the building, its sometime after 7. It's an appropriate time right, it's not like late or anything. He talks to the security at the entrance and he is led to sit in the lobby while they make the call. He hopes Harvey will just be kind enough to let him see Donna just this once. The wedding announcement had come as a shock, granted Harvey does love Donna, given his panic attacks and all the tell tell signs. Louise ain't clueless. But a wedding? Harvey Specter's wedding; he never thought he'd live long enough to see the day. The security guard comes back to inform him that there is no response from Mr Specter's apartment.

"Well maybe he's busy or something, it won't take long. I just need a few minutes." He says

"I am sorry, we've been given specific instructions..." the guard starts

"I am sorry my ass. Do you remember the last time I was here what I promised to do to you if you didn't let me through?" Louise threatened. "Well I am promising it again right now. In fact I would do the absolute worst that you would wish you had never won the green card that got you out of Siberia to this God given country." Louise barks.

The guard just backs off and lets him through.

He takes the elevator up to Harvey's floor, walks through the lobby towards his door. His phone rings at that moment. He looks at the caller ID and shit, its Jessica. He still could almost shit in his pants when she calls, even now when she's no longer his boss.

"Jessica is everything alright?"

"Everything is fine Louise. Where are you right now?"

"I am ...I ... I am at Harvey's. I just got here actually, I wanted to say hi to Donna." he stummerd

"Louse get the hell out of there right now, give the two some privacy. What the hell's wrong with you? Can't you take a hint?" she yells at him.

"Jessica I ... I won't be able to see her after tomorrow and..."

"Louise get out of there right now. Who let you up anyway?"

"I am not even there yet, I am in the lobby. The guard let me up."

"Did Harvey say you should go up?" she asks not believing him

"Well no, Harvey didn't even answer his phone. He..."

"Then how the hell did you get up there?"

"The guard... he..."

"Louise I don't want to hear it, just get out of there now."

"Why Jessica?" I just..."

She sighed through the phone, exasperated. "Do you really want me to spell it out for you? They are probably having sex right now. They are not to be disturbed."

"Jessica..." he is in full defiant mode but then what Jessica said finally registers. "They're... what? EEwww Jessica ..." he stammers

"Thats right, now get out of there." She says

"Right, absolutely. Eewww Jessica the picture you just painted in my head." He says walking back to the elevator. "I am gonna need a day."

...

"Ok now calm down, i have a plan."

"What plan Harvey? What the hell is going on here?" she asks

"Donna go change right now I have some clothes for you in my bedroom." He all but hustles her into the bedroom. There's a pair of jeans,a coat and a t shirt on his bed; her clothes. He must have gone through her closet. She puts the clothes on hastily, judging by his all hustly mood she's going to have to be quick. She hears him knocking on the bedroom door. "Donna are you done?" he asks

She steps out of the room all dressed up and ready. She notices that he had already changed out of his suit into a pair of jeans , a shirt and jacket.

"There's another exit in this building that goes straight to the garage down stairs." He says hustling her out the door into the hall way. "Everything is all packed, we're leaving." He says. He had packed three bags for her, Donna had plenty of stuff and what he got was no where near enough but that was the best he could do. His own stuff could only fit in one bag, the necessary stuff.

"Harvey wait. What?" she asks incredulously

"Donna not now, we don't have much time. Just trust me ok.' He says leading her down the stair to the garage. He helps her into the car and drives off. The goons that Cahill had posted will be keeping watch on the front door. That should buy them sometime till the morning. They drive off in silence. He is so lost in his own mind, adrenaline pumping. He has everything in place and the people he cares about have plausible deniability.

"Harvey what are we doing?"She asks again sternly this time.

"Were leaving Donna what does it look like?"He says curtly

She reels from that tone. He seems so wound up, so apprehensive. He would be wouldn't he? He's running away with her. He is breaking the law for her. He's literary signing up to be a fugitive. And if they get caught, he'll spend the rest of his life in prison. And now what good will that do? God what was he thinking? All of this is going through her mind as they drive on in a tense silence. They had driven for miles now to God only knows where. She can't. She just can't let him throw his life away like that, even for her.

"Stop the car." she says quetly. He doesn't stir, so lost in his own thoughts

"Stop the car Harvey right now." She yells this time and he just looks at her driving.

"Donna what are you doing?"He asks puzzled

"I said stop the goddamn car Harvey. Right the hell now!"

He slows down to the road side and then stops. He looks at her askance. "What is it." He asks

She just opens the door and starts walking backwards in the direction they were coming from. The cold air hitting her face but she doesn't care. What the hell did he just got himself into? She will hitch hike but on this road and at this time of the night, it seemed impossible. She will turn herself to Cahill and proceed with the transfer and Harvey will still have his life back.

He pulls her hand from behind her and she turns around to look at him. "Donna stops."

"What the hell Harvey. What do you think you are doing? I am not going anywhere with you." she tells at him

"Donna look, I know I have taken you by surprise and ..."

"Surprise? That's one hell of an understatement Harvey. Surprise is you showing up at my door step with a bunch of flowers in your hands. This is ..." she can't finish as she is just lost for words.

"Donna..."  
"Harvey, we can't do this. Ok? You will be leaving your life here. Leaving everything, becoming a fugitive. I can't let you do that. Look we still have time, we can still go back. Keep whatever deal you made with Cahill cause I doubt it had anything to do with you running away with me." She says

"Donna I can't have you in jail, not for one more second." He says

"So what, you're just going to throw your life away? I can't have you do that."

"Donna..."

"No Harvey. You're the one who always says that people who love other people would not put them in a position to break the law. I can't let you do this."

"I admit I have said that and it's true. But there is a greater truth. That people who love other people will break every goddamned law in the book for them."

"Harvey you are leaving everything. Everything, your life here the law for goodness's sake, you are managing partner now. This was your dream. Don't throw it away." She pleads with him, looking into his eyes. Hers already smarting with tears.

He takes a step towards her and cradles her cheek in his hand. "Donna when are you going to start to realize that you are everything to me. Nothing else matters if I don't have you."

"You won't be able to practice the law if you become a fugitive. You love the law."

"I love you more. "He says. "Donna take a good look at me." he says , arms spread out in demonstration. "This is all of me, everything. I don't want to live without you. I am a total mess." His heart is breaking and he can't seem breath all that well anymore. "I love you Donna." The words are come out small and strangled from his throat, like they are trying to find their way through a rusty pipe line. He should use those words more. It shouldn't hurt so much to say them. But it hurts because he means them. And it makes him want to cry because now, before this amazing woman is he completely weak. He is vulnerable and exposed, and its not a good feeling. It hurts like hell.

Her breath catches at his declaration of love. She won't ask him how or why this time. He's shown her how. Its in his eyes,in the way that he is right now. And Harvey doesn't do any fancy words. It doesn't get any better than this with Harvey. His heart is in his eyes and her heart hurts from the magnitude of the love she feels for him. It's overwhelming. "Oh my baby." She whispers, her hand on his face and tears streaming down her face. He loves her. He truly loves her. It was beyond what she had ever dreamed of or hoped for. She never thought she could ever be loved so completely.

He leans down and kisses, her slowly at first, then the heat takes over ,passionately. Savoring every feeling, every taste of her. This is the second time he is kissing her for that day, after ten years. And he doesn't know how he was able to live without this for ten years.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

 **Hey guys, again thanks for the reviews. So here's another one. Please read the notes at the end of the Chapter. Will really appreciate your input. Keep on shipping.**

 **...**

 **At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world. Six billion souls. And sometimes — all you need is one. -(Peyton).**

"So what's the plan?" she asks. They are now back in the car, driving.

"We drive a little bit more and ditch the car, then we hitchhike back." He says

"How is that a plan?" She asks confused

"We are supposed to leave a trail, a decoy sort of. We are driving towards the Mexican boarded right now; every fugitive is expected to go to Mexico because it's so easy. But we're not going to be that predictable. We're just going to pretend we are." He explains

She nods understanding dawning on her, "Ok, go ahead."

"We'll get a bus for Montreal instead. We can't fly because Cahill would have put us on a no fly list if he was the least bit suspicious. If he didn't he will soon enough and we can't take that chance." He says with a sideways glance at her

"Ok genius, how long have you been planning this?" she asks

"Actually before you were convicted, only I didn't think you would actually be convicted. It was a worst scenario sort of thing. Then I saw you all battered and bruised when i came to visit you in prison and I knew I had to do this. You have no idea what that did to me Donna, seeing you like that." He says forlornly. They share a look, remembering the horrible time. The air suddenly becomes heavy.

Donna recovers quickly, going for a lighter mood. "So how did you sell it to people that you were going to marry me?"

"That was the easy part, because it was all true." He says

She looks at him and smiles, feeling such love swelling up in her heart for him.

"You already have them fake passports and all? She asks teasingly

"Of course."

"We're going to be super leery of everyone Harvey, looking over our shoulders all the time." she says with consternation

"You don't have to be all secret agent obvious about it. You don't have to act like that guy who if you ask him if he thinks the weather will be bad tomorrow he will ask you what you are planning tomorrow that requires bad weather. Just act normal." he says

"Copy that agent." she say with a salute. "So what's my fake name? Something cat girlish like. Secret agent fitting name." She asks excitedly.

"Settle down agent, it's nothing that exciting."

"Kill joy. So what is it?"

He looks at her then back on the road with fake concentration. "Something practical." He says

"Now you're scaring me." she says

He laughs."Something closer to your own name. You know so that you won't look at me confused when I call you."

"Something closer to my own name. Hmmn." She ponders it then suddenly she turns full on her sit to look at him with horror on her face."Don't tell me it's Dana, because so help me God, Harvey Specter you will be in real big trouble and the least of your worries will be Cahill haunting your ass." She says

He burst out laughing, "What? It's a nice name. And it is closer to yours, I mean Donna it is the practical choice." He says teasingly

"Harvey Reginald Specter!"

He laughed again, "Fine." He relents. "But really Donna, would I do that to you?"

"I wouldn't put it past you Specter." She says with a smirk

He just shrugs and concentrates on the road.

"So what is it." She persist

"Oh you really are like a dog with a bone Donna." He grunts

"Ok, fine what is yours then?" she asks and he just shakes his head and doesn't answer.

"Something practical, something that goes with your name. Hmmm." She muses, "Is it Howard, Howie? Hawk?" she says raising and eyebrow at the last suggestion. He just snorts and looks back on the road pretending to concentrate.

"Come on, what is it? Herald?" she asks. "Oh its Herald isn't it?"

He snorts, "Herald Gantherson? Really?" he says sounding indignant

"He's not the only Herald out there." she says reasonably

"He's the only Herald I know and i am not starting a new life in a foreign country with a name that will associate and remind me of Herald Gantherson." He quips.

She gives him a look and he just reaches in the dashboard compartment and hands her an envelope.

She takes it and rips it open impatiently.

"Hey gentle hands." He cautions but she ignores him looking inside the envelope. She reaches in and produces two passports. She opens one and simpers.

"Ohh Hunter ha?" she raises an eyebrow. "Nice." She says in approval. "Hunter Gordon." She says testing the name. "Sexy."

"That's what I thought. Suits me well." he smirks

She just looks sideways at him reaching for the other passport.

"Really Harvey?"She says in dismay looking at the name written on the passport.

"Come on Donna, the only other option was Dana and I didn't want you to kill me."

"You're right about that, smart move, but Debra Gordon?"

"What are you in objection to here Debby?" he smirks. "The first name or the Surname?" he asks teasingly

"I kind of like the surname, good choice." she says

"Just keeping it personal." he says and she just smiles. Personal ha?

"So we're married?" she asks

"We would have been if we'd waited until morning." he says lightly. At her silence he looks at her with the corner of his eye and finds her studying the two passports. "We could be." He says hesitantly. "When we get to Canada. If you're still into me."

"I'll always be into you Specter."

...

So far everything has gone according to plan. They had ditched the car, and hitchhiked back. It was next to impossible to find a car in that deserted road not to mention dangerous but they had found a truck. Uncomfortable but it did the job. Now they were sited in a bus which was going to be heading for Montreal in a few minutes. They had bought their tickets and checked in with no hustles the fake passports looked real enough. The guy he knew did a pretty good job. She sits curled up in his arms, her head resting on his chest. It's so wonderful to be able to do this with her, just sitting like this in a comfortable silence. They are in real danger right now, they could get caught and both wound up in jail but right this moment he'd rather be no where else but here, like this. It's so easy to let himself go and just allow himself to feel. They've crossed the line and there's no turning back now.

"You packed my bags for me? You didn't ask Rachel for help." She suddenly asks looking up at him, breaking into his reverie.

He looks down at her, into her playful eyes and he places a kiss on her forehead before answering. "All by myself. Didn't need any help really. There wasn't much to pack." He says

"That gets me really worried." She says lazily, her head back on his chest.

"Oh don't be. I got your makeup kit." He says

She laughs,"Now that was good thinking Specter."

"Hey it's not Specter anymore."

"Fine then good thinking Gordon. That sounds weird." She says

"You'll get used to it."

"What else did you pack?"

"Oh nothing much for you. My suits take up a lot of space." He says

She punches him playfully on the shoulder.

"Ouch thought you weren't a violent woman" he whines. "I did pack one other thing for you though."

"What?"

"Your photo album. I know how sentimental you get when you miss people. So yeah."

"Very thoughtful and sentimental of your Mr 'I don't do feelings'. If I didn't know any better I'd thing you packed that up more for yourself than for me." She smirked

He pulls at her ponytail playfully with a reluctant smile on his face. "Well it's a good thing that you do know better."

He gets lost in thought again. He is sure going to miss the people here. The place, the job, the Firm. He had made friends here contrary to popular belief. He will miss Jessica ad Mike a lot. They were the closest people to him after Donna and his brother Mucus. He's really going to miss Mucus a lot but he didn't really see him that often. He visited him and his family once or twice a year, on the occasional holidays. Now he may never see him again. He will even miss Louis, his almost brother and frenemy. He was supposed to be his best man on his wedding to his fiancé, what was her name again, Tara or other. Even Rachel, somehow along the way he had come to get used to her. She was like a sister in law or something. That distant yet that close. And his temporary secretary Gretchen, she was a dear old woman. He'll miss the way she would look at him in disapproval of something or other. She was a real mother hen. But as much as he'll miss all of them, he'll rather have Donna anywhere in the world, even if it meant that she's the only person he'll have in his entire life. And as much as he'll miss these people, he knows Donna will miss them more. Donna loves, she is giving and she takes in people into her heart and her life so much better than he ever could. She's going to need this photo album so much more than he ever will. He looks down at her and she's already fallen sound asleep in his arms. They have traveled for miles now, but there's still a long way to go till their next stop. There will be a bus and crew change which will take about six or so hours, to allow the travelers time to rest? They'll check into a hotel for some much needed rest. He cradles her in his arms as she sleeps, wondering how she can be so relaxed and comfortable in his arms even in all this chaos that is their lives right now. It feels good, to be trusted so completely.

...

The bus stops at the next station. It's already past midnight. He shakes her gently and she stirs slightly before opening her eyes. "We're here." He says

"Already?" she says drowsily

"No sleepy head. We're just going to check into a hotel and rest a bit. We're still in the US." He says

They check into a nearby hotel as Mr and Mrs Gordon. He uses cash; credit cards will be a dead giveaway for anyone who's trying to find them. They carry their luggage in, it's a nice enough room with a king-size bed . It's so inviting, it's so big, but it's only one. There is a sudden award silence and tension in the room. Both not quite knowing what to say or do next. Harvey excuses himself and leaves the room to go and organize some food for them, and to run a few more errands. She's left alone in the room; she glares at the king-size bed as if it was an enemy. This is going to present a huge problem. Yes they have kissed, and they have declared their feelings for each other, but are they ready for that step yet. Is she ready? She decides to take a shower in the mean time. Thoughts running through her head. They are really doing this. Running away to Canada with the man she loves. Will it be weird? Will they still have that comfortable friendship if they do take that next inevitable step? She lets the water run through her hair, as if washing away the entire prison aura. She turns off the shower and dries herself, wrapping a towel on her head. She wraps another towel around herself, walking into the room in search of a change of clothes. She walks into the room and freezes, her heart stops at the sight before her eyes. Harvey is slummed on his back on the bed, his eyes are closed. His jacket is gone, exhaustion clear on his face, stubble on his checks. He looks good enough to eat. At that moment, at her unruly thoughts, as if he heard them. He opens his eyes and their eyes lock. She stops breathing, her mouth suddenly goes dry and time is suspended in the air. Everything goes still; the tension in the atmosphere is palpable. It's so silent you can hear a pin drop, and the sounds of their hearts beating. They both freeze in place, afraid to move.

 **So its pretty obvious what's gonna happen here, about time right? However, i am gonna need your input on this one guys. Just how much detail do you want here? Should i just skim over it or paint it all black and white? On a scale of 1-10. Let me know. Its your decision.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

 **Hey guys, thank you for your participation on this one. The votes were somewhat varying but most were leaning towards a 10. Now i had to dial down a little to accommodate everyone. Your opinions matter to me. Believe me , i did try to dial it down but totally rated M. So Here it is, as you ordered. Enjoy.**

 **Don't forget to leave a review. Keep on shipping.**

 **...**

 **'We loved with a love that was more than love."-quote by I don't know who, but its nice.**

His heart clutches, breath whooshes out of his lungs. He may have fallen asleep as soon as his head hit the bed because he had been really tired. He could be dreaming but Donna was still standing right there in front of him with nothing but a towel wrapped around her body. She is the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, its unreal. He feels his body getting hard and he sees an answering hunger in Donna's eyes.

"Come here." He says , breaking the tension. He can't help it , he has never wanted anything more, ever. And he is done pretending. As he'd expected, she exploded into motion, trying to get away. He gets up from the bed and takes hold of her, he hold her secure with his firm hold and said, "Shh. Shh, it's all right."

She sounded panicked. "I…Harvey!"

"I know." He didn't release her, adjusting his hold to keep her still, to keep her right where he wanted her. "I should let you sleep. I should give you time to think about this. But I want you too much. Now."

He looked down at her mouth, saw her parted lips tremble, and he went right over the edge. He leaned down until he could feel her warm breath on his mouth, fast and low, and the vibrancy of her expectation, her own awareness.

And then he kissed her.

Donna clutched at him, straining to make the contact more complete. Her towel fell to the floor in a puddle around her feet. She barely noticed.

She didn't think about what was happening, and she didn't think about pulling away. Overwhelmed by pure sensation, by heat and need she'd never experienced before, she wanted only to get closer. She'd thought the attraction was one-sided, but now, feeling the faint trembling in Harvey's hard body, she knew he was affected, too.

Harvey's mouth was warm and firm, and he teased, barely touching her, giving her time to change her mind, to pull back. Until she groaned.

There was an aching stillness for half a heartbeat, then his mouth opened on hers, voraciously hungry, and his hands slid around to her back, holding her so tightly she could barely breathe. She felt the hot slide of his tongue and the more brazen press of his swollen sex against her belly. A delicious sensation of yearning unfurled inside her, making her thighs tingle and her toes curl. It was like a fever , hotter than ever.

.

He could feel her trembling, the rapid hammering of her heart. He turned his hand slightly until his thumb could drag over her sensitive nipple, flicking once, twice. Her hands gripped his shoulder hard, and she panted.

Opening his mouth on her throat, he sucked the delicate skin against his teeth. He wanted to mark her; he wanted to devour her. The primitive urges were new to him, but he no longer fought against them. She was his now, and there was no going back.

He caught her nipple between his rough fingertips and plucked gently. She moaned, then gave a soft sob, and all the resistance left her until she stood limp and trembling against him.

"You want me, Donna."

"I love you Donna. I am so in love with you. So desperately." The words emerged as a rough growl because he didn't want to say them, didn't want to take the chance she'd turn him away. But from somewhere deep inside himself, his honor had forced him to admit the truth to her.

"Oh Harvey." Her voice shook, and he bent to place a hard, quick kiss to her soft mouth. "I'm taking you to bed. Then I'm going to strip you naked and make love to you."

That sexy mouth of hers parted and she gasped. "I love you."

He lowered her to the mattress, but followed her down, unwilling to have any space between them at all. In one movement he used his knee to open her slender thighs and settled between her legs. He wanted to groan aloud at the exquisite contact, at the feel of her soft body cushioning his. Damn, if he wasn't careful, he'd come before he ever got inside her.

She stared up at him, her breathing fast and low, then with a moan she lifted while at the same time pulling him down. Their mouths met, open, hot, and Harvey gave up any hopes of slowing down. He'd been waiting on her for a lifetime.

SHE WAS ALIVE with sensation, aware of Harvey on every possible level, the hardness of his body, his heat, the way his kiss had turned commanding, his tongue thrusting deep into her mouth, stroking. She breathed in his hot, musky, male scent, felt the rasp of a slight beard stubble, and she moaned hungrily. Every touch, every movement, drove her closer to the brink. She'd never experienced this flash fire of desire before and probably would have argued over its existence. She could say she had experienced it only once in her lifetime. The other time. No one else could make her feel this way. And now she was held on the very threshold of exploding, and all he'd done was kiss her.

Her hands moved over his bare back, loving the feel of hot flesh and hard muscle . Nothing and no one could compare to the man now making love to her. Desperately, she pulled her mouth free and groaned out a plea. "Harvey…"

It seemed to be happening too fast. Her body was taut, her breasts swollen and acutely sensitive. And where his pelvis pushed against her, she ached unbearably.

"It's all right," he whispered against her mouth, the words rushed and low. "Let me take off this shirt." She helps him almost reaping the shirt in her haste to take it off him.

He paused, staring down at her with black eyes, and one large hand covered her right breast. His fingertips were calloused, and they rasped over her puckered nipple, around it, pinching lightly. She cried out, her body arching hard. The pleasure was piercing, sharp, pulling her deeper. He soothed her with mumbled words, then bent, and his mouth replaced his hand.

With a gasp, her eyes opened wide. She couldn't bear it. His mouth was so hot, his tongue rough, and then he started sucking. Hard. All the while his hips moved in that tantalizing rhythm against her in a parody of what was to come. She lost her fragile grasp on control, unaware of everything but the implosion of heat, the wave of sensation that made her muscles ripple and her skin burn, the link between her breasts and her groin and the way he touched her, how he moved against her…

Without thought, she dug her nails into his bare shoulders and she tightened her thighs around his hard hips, sinking her teeth into her bottom lip and groaning long and low with the intensity of her orgasm.

After a moment the feelings began to subside, leaving her shaken and confused. Harvey raised his head, his lips wet, his eyes blazing. He stared at her and whispered, "Damn."

She shared his sentiments. Shock mingled with sated desire. She hadn't even known such a thing was possible, much less that it would ever happen to her. Only Harvey could do this to her.

He kissed her gently, and all she could do was struggle for breath, unable to even pucker for his kiss. His hand trembled as he smoothed wet hair away from her face, now pulled loose from the towel she'd wrapped it with. "I didn't expect that," he admitted, still softly, with awe.

She swallowed hard, trying to gain her bearings. A pleasurable throb reverberated through her limp muscles. She could barely think. "Wh…what?"

He touched her cheek and a gentle smile lit up his face. "You are so damn sweet."

What he said and the heat in his words made her entire body blush. He smiled, then moved to the side of her to wrest his jeans down his legs.

When he stood by the side of the bed, she no longer tried to cover herself. She doubted she could move. Her legs were still sprawled, her breasts trembling with her low, shallow breaths, but she didn't care. She felt replete and wrung out and willingly pliant.

He shucked off his jeans, his face dark with desire, his breathing labored. Donna let her head fall to the side so she could see him better, and through narrowed, slumberous eyes, she took in the gorgeous sight of his naked body. Though she didn't move, her heart gave a heavy thump at the sight he presented.

She felt emotionally raw, unable to cope with the depth of what she'd experienced, of what he could so easily make her feel.

She whispered, "I didn't know, didn't think…" but she couldn't put into words the way he'd made her feel, how it both thrilled and alarmed her. She could tell by the grim set of his features he understood, and felt the same. They both resented the strength of the desire between them. Mere sex shouldn't be so consuming, so uncontrollable.

Remaining at the side of the bed, his eyes hot on her face, Harvey reached down and cupped his hand over her sex. His fingers moved gently between her slick folds until they opened; he pressed his middle finger inside her, and his eyes closed on a groan. "Damn, you're wet and tight."

Donna bit her lip and tears seeped from the corners of her eyes as she struggled to accept this new onslaught of sensation. "It's…it's too much, Harvey."

"And not enough," he rasped, then came into the bed over her.

She opened herself to him without reserve, lifting her face for his kiss. Though the hunger was still tightly etched in his features, his kiss was gently controlling. He took his time, making love to her mouth, bringing her desire back into full swing.

"Please."

Harvey cupped her face and stared into her eyes. "Wrap your legs high around my waist. That's it. Now hold me tight."

His voice was so low and gruff she could barely understand him. She felt him probing, his erection pressing just inside, burning and appeasing, and her heart swelled. She gave a shuddering sob and closed her eyes, but he kissed her and said, "Look at me, Donna."

It was so wonderful, it hurt. She cried while she stared at him, not out of sadness, but from inexplicable pleasure. This was why they never touched. This was wrecking. She drew her palms down his chest to his small brown nipples and smoothed over them, determined to take everything she could. His expression hardened and he locked his jaw, rocking against her, entering her by excruciatingly slow degrees. She lifted her hips to hurry him along and was rewarded with his harsh groan. His muscles rippled and tightened, and then he thrust hard with a curse.

Donna held on to him, stunned by the shock of pleasure as he filled her. He tangled his fingers in her hair and locked his mouth onto hers and rode her hard. His chest rubbed against her stiffened nipples, his hips grinding into her with an incredible friction, his scent invading her.

She screamed as she climaxed, and Harvey, still kissing her, swallowed the sound. He held her so close she felt a part of him. He held her and kissed her until she'd relaxed and then continued doing so even as he found his own release, his hold almost crushing it became so tight.

The kiss dwindled, turning light and soft and lazy as Harvey sank onto her. His heartbeat rocked them both, and still he kept kissing her, easily, consuming her, soft lazy kisses that went on and on.

A noise in the hallway made him lift his head. He stared toward the closed door, and Donna couldn't remember if he'd locked it or not. After a second of squeaking floorboards, she heard a knock then a soft call , "Room service"

Harvey dropped his forehead onto hers with a muffled curse. He looks at her in question and she just shakes her head. He swallowed, took two deep breaths and said with feigned calm."Cancel the order." Then the sound of retreating foot steps.

Donna wanted to cover her face; she even wanted to blush. She couldn't manage either one. She closed her eyes and started to drift off to sleep. Harvey kissed her slack mouth, smoothed his rough hand over her cheek, then rolled to her side. He was silent for a few minutes, and she felt the weight of lethargy settle into her bones. Right before she dozed off, she heard him murmur, "God only knows what I have ever done to deserve you."

In the next instant, she was sound asleep.

...

He woke up bright and early, ready for the big day. Everything seems to be in place; all that's left is the bride and groom. Harvey did say to pick them up 8am, which is about now. He is waiting with Ray outside Harvey's building, he had placed a call to his cell phone but he didn't answer. Ok, he'll give him a few more minutes before he goes in there and hustle him out there. People are waiting. They might have overslept. Rachel is already waiting for Donna at the chapel, with makeup and whatever else maids of honor do for the bride. He sees Cahill approach the car from the black SVU parked just in front of theirs.

"I take it you're here to pick up the bride and groom?" Cahill asks

"Yeah, am just giving them a few minutes to finish up before we head out to the chapel. I might have to go in and hustle them out. You know how new couples can be." Mike says

They wait there for a few more minutes before Mike looks at his watch again and decides to go up and get them. He knocks on the door three times and there's no answer.

"Harvey, Donna, hey guys it's about time you come out if you intend on getting married today." He shouts but still there is no response. He tries the knob but the door is locked. He goes downstairs to get a duplicate key from the guard. A heavy feeling settling in like a stone in his stomach, it's not a good feeling. At his approach and maybe the look on his face Cahill springs into action, suspecting something off. "What's wrong? Where are they?" he asks anxiously.

Mike just proceeds to take the key from the guard and moves back to the elevator not answering but Cahill is on his heels. They take the elevator together.

"What's going on Ross, talk to me." Cahill demands.

"We'll find out soon enough. I am sure everything is fine, they're just not answering that's all." Mike replies

"That is not all Mike Ross, that's a big problem." Cahill says in alarm

"Well we will find out won't we?" he says. They are already at the door and Mikes takes a deep breath and turns the key opening the door. They go in hesitantly, not quite sure what they'll find. It's so quite; Mike walks straight to the bedroom, shouting cautiously in case they are still in bed. He wouldn't want to walk in on some shenanigans. There is no one in the bedroom; the bed is all made up, like it hadn't been slept in. Other than that, everything looks normal. Nothing out of place really. He should calm down; they probably are at the reception already. He takes a breath to calm down and walks out of the bedroom to find Cahill standing in the kitchen, holding an envelope. The same envelope that he had delivered for Harvey, now addressed to Cahill.

"They're gone." Cahill says looking defeated. "Son of bitch!" Cahill bursts out, holding the contents of the envelope.

"No hey, I think they're already at the chapel, everyone is waiting there." Mike says not sure if he should be happy they're gone or frightened. If they're gone then they are officially in a shit load of trouble.

"Oh believe me, they're gone." Cahill says, breathing fire. Taking out his phone to make a call.

Mike doesn't wait to hear it as he bolts out the door.

...

Mike walks into the chapel and every one turns to look at him, he is late and of cause everyone is now a little bit anxious. Jessica, Jeff, Louise, Tara, Rachel, Gretchen and Father Walker, all these faces turn to look expectantly at him, all expecting to see the bride and groom. He's freaking out and it is obviously all over his face because he sees their faces change before he even says anything. Jessica raises an eyebrow at him and he just shakes his head. "It looks like they're gone." He says

The room goes still, then there are gasps of shock as comprehension hits.

"I should have known. Damn it Harvey." Jessica grumbles.

"Hold on just a minute, what do you mean gone." Louise asks puzzled

"Like gone gone Louise, what do you think?" Mike says

" They ran away." Rachel says. She is actually happy for them, being a hopeless romantic. "Oh my God that's so romantic." She says with glee.

"Oh my God," Louise says, "Yesterday when I went to visit Donna at Harvey's place. That must have been around the time they took off. Maybe if I had actually gone in I would have found them still there." He says looking dejected as he sits down on a chair, as if he could no longer stand up straight anymore. "And I would have fouled their plans." The full comprehension of the situation hits him. "Thank you Jessica for calling me off that moment. Harvey would have really hated me if I had been the one to foul their plans."

"How did I not see that coming?" Mike asks no one in general, just genuinely puzzled.

"Who could have known Harvey would turn all romantic like that. No one saw it coming. I mean this is Harvey Spectre we are talking about." Rachel says

"And this is Donna." Jessica says. "He totally would. I just didn't want to believe he would leave everything for her. Oh my God, I am almost proud of him. If only he hadn't left the Firm in a total mess."

"But, this is total madness; he is now a fugitive for crying out loud." Jeff Mallon says in befuddlement.

"Believe me I saw this coming from a mile away." Gretchen says "I know I haven't worked at this Firm that long but I have worked for Mr Specter long enough to know that Red was the one thing he valued more than anything in his life. The man could do anything for her. Those two are soulmates if there ever was such a thing." She turns to Jessica."Ms Pearson, he never would have been the same without her anyway. It would have eventually destroyed him along with your Firm, her being in jail. If you'd asked me I would have told you to guard that door a little more securely if you didn't want them to leave.

"But this is pure madness." Jeff Malone says again. How could a man just up and leave everything like that?

"Well my grandmother used to say when love is not madness it is not love." Gretchen says looking him up and down.

At that moment Cahill walks in looking like he would very much like to kill somebody. "Don't look so shocked, you knew about this whole thing. His bank accounts are wiped clean and he didn't just do all that in one day. You where all in on it from the get go." He marches in pointing a finger at everyone in general.

"What do you mean? We are all here aren't we? Obviously we were played too." Jessica says in defence

"My ass! You are all going to pay for this. And believe me I will hunt them down if that's the last thing I do." He shouts

Louise stood up at that moment, all pit-bull attack mode. "If you knew what was good for you you will put your tail between your legs, put your head down and get yourself out of here. You got played, not us. If you ask me I am glad they are gone. But you put this in motion buddy, no one else. Now if you don't want this to get out, that you made a dirty deal with Harvey and you got burnt, you will behave yourself. Or else watch your whole career go down the drain, if you don't find your ass in jail first. Now shut up about hunting them down and all this bullshit. If you find them then what? Your whole deal will be exposed and you won't escape unscathed. Now we are willing to keep your little secret if you agree to let this go." He says looking at the group expectantly and everyone is standing in solidarity behind Louise.

Cahill looks defeated. He looks at Jeff Mallon suspiciously since he also works at the SCC. Assured that he won't rat him out he turns without a word out of the chapel. He turns at the door and points a finger at Louise. "This is not over." He shouts and then exits. Everyone takes a breath of relief as they settle down to ponder the mess they've been left in. Cahill won't let this go that easy . They better not get caught.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

 **Hey guys. here's another one. Enjoy and keep on shipping.**

 **For the two of us, home isn't a place. It is a person. And we are finally home." – Don't know who, but nice.**

It was late in the day, and a barrage of clients had kept him busy for several solid hours. He hadn't had a chance to visit with her as he usually did. Twice she had poked her head into his office to offer him lunch or a quick snack. Even seeing her for those brief moments had brightened his day, as if by now he wouldn't have grown accustomed to her and had been suffering withdrawal from her absence.

Seeing her in his kitchen cooking made him want her.

Seeing her pulling weeds from the flower beds around the house made him want her.

And listening to her argue with him or coddle his son really made him burn with lust. Dammit. Over five years now and it's not showing any signs of letting up. If anything, it keeps getting better.

He grunted to himself as he leaned on the office door, watching her and Bruce together, a Senior Partner at the Firm. She is good with people, she makes friends wherever she goes, she's just like that. But Bruce is acting a little too cozy with her, smiling a little too much and he has never really trusted that guy. His temper felt precarious at best coupled with the smoldering heat of the summer. He is trying to ignore the way Bruce is looking at her and the hot jealousy he couldn't deny. The only males who could touch her without setting off his possessive alarms were his sons. And it was a good thing, since she's their mother. As he looks on as Bruce puts his hand on her shoulder and he just lost it. He doesn't know where the rage that consumes him at that moment is coming from but he only sees red. He walks towards them and without warning grabs the guy by the lapels ready to punch.

"Hunter! Hunter what are you doing? Stop that right now." Her voice cuts through his rage and he lets go, realizing what he was just about to do.

"Never put your hands on my wife again!" he hisses dangerously

Already everyone has stopped working, gawking at the scene he has created. He should really not be making any waves right now. That was a really bad move. He looks at her and she is livid, he backs down.

"Hunter I'll be with you in your office baby in a minute." She says propelling him towards his office.

"Bruce, I am very sorry. He hasn't eaten all day because of this Milling case and his sugar levels must be really low right now. I should have forced him to take his meds and something to eat. You know how this condition can be. Please don't make anything big out of it." She pleads

"Look Derby, I respect your husband a lot and God knows I would never..." he starts

"I know you wouldn't. Thanks for letting this go Bruce." She says, dismissing him. Then she walks into his office and closes the door.

"Donna..."He starts

"You don't get to Donna me right now. What do you think you're doing? You could put us in a world of shit!" she whispers menacingly

"I know baby, I am sorry. I don't know what got into me." He starts to explain

"You don't get to do that. Do I ever act like that with all the girls who gawk at you and flirt with you in my face? I don't because I know you would never cheat on me." She looks so furious with him

"I have mommy issues?" he says sheepishly

At that her face changes and she is now trying hard not to smile. She smirks at him and he pulls her into his arms. "I am sorry baby. Thanks for covering for me and lying that I am a diabetic." He says that looking at her with a smirk on his face. "I just love you so much. I get jealous when someone looks at you like that." He says

"Not an excuse. I love you too so much but you don't see me acting like that."

"You did when..."

She kisses him to shut him up, heat vibrates instantly between them. It's always like that between them, when they are arguing or laughing; it can instantly turn hot like that in an instant.

"We'll talk about this when we get home. You're in big trouble Mr." She says and walks out of his office with a flirty backward glance.

...

She is draped on top of him. Her breast in his mouth, sucking. She is panting, making little moaning noises. She cradles his head closer with one hand and with the other she opens his fly, releasing his manhood into her hand, she squeezed."Donna", he groans loudly.

"Mommy what are you doing to daddy?" a small voice says from across the room. They both freeze, still panting, trying for control.

"Ahh..." Donna tries, rearranging her dress and Harvey's trousers before turning to their five year old daughter who is staring at them with curious dark eyes. She has her mother's features, her red hair and fair skin. She even has her mother's personality, the smart mouth which riles her twin brother to no end, the quick mind and she sure has a way with people, especially her dad.

"Ahmm... I was pulling daddy's hair." Donna says pulling at Harvey's short strands of hair in demonstration as he groans out in pain. "Ouch Donna really?" he whines

"Yeah he has been a really bad boy today." She explains to her daughter turning with a smirk to Harvey who just smiles ruefully.

"Does it hurt daddy?" She asks her dad

"It does sweetie pie, it really does." He says sitting up on the bed.

"So is that like a punishment mommy? Because daddy was bad today?" she asks curiously

"Yes baby."Donna answers, squatting to her daughters eye level.

"So can I pull Jackson's hair? He was bad to me today. He promised to play in the tree house with me but when I asked him he said he was too busy. He destroyed my tea set also." She complains to her mommy.

"No sweetie, you are not allowed to pull your brother's hair. Tell you what; I will pull his hair for you. Deal?" she asks stretching her hand for a handshake. "Now go and check on Mucus for me sweetie. See if he's sleeping ok?" she says to her daughter

She just nods and leaves the room.

"Huff ..." she sighs loudly looking back at Harvey.

"Am glad that wasn't me there, you were totally caught in the twenty questions."He says, as he collapsed back on the bed. "Be glad it wasn't Jackson who walked in on us, he never would have believed that hair pulling explanation of yours."

"Well it worked for now but very soon you're going to have to answer the birds and the bees' question." She says smirking at him

"Oh my God, I can't believe it's already about that time already. I'd say it's too soon but your kids are too smart. Rose will be hunting us down with twenty questions and Jackson will not bother with that. He just Goggles everything. That boy intimidates me Donna." He say with his eyes closed. He loves his kids to destruction. When the twins were born, just nine months after they had come to live in Canada, he had totally freaked out. He had looked heaven ward as he held them in both his hands. God not one but double? Couldn't you have eased me into it a little instead of ambushing me with twins, seeing as I am so ill prepared? Twins! He had looked down at his babies, a boy and a girl, both so tiny in each one of his of hands and he had never experienced that type of love before. The kind he didn't want to resist or run away from. He was pretty sure they were conceived in the US, that night in the hotel room. He had looked down at his wife now lying exhausted on her hospital bed, tears and a smile on her face. He could never describe the kind of love he felt for her, this amazing woman who had produced these two miracles in his life. He had bent down and kissed her, all he wanted to say clear in his eyes and he didn't need to say it, she just knew. They had named the little girl who tugged at his heart strings and was the apple of his eye Rose, after Mike who had always been like their first son, and now they would probably never see again. And Jackson, the little boy who filled him with such pride just by looking at him. He had his father's features, his face, his hair but his mother's hazel eyes. He had named him after Jessica because he had such strength and stoicism in him even as a baby. He didn't fuss all that much unless he really needed something. He respected his son already, even as a baby. And now he is five and he had been right, his son was going to be one unique human being. He was broody and mature for his age, and a certified genius to his father's never ending egoism. He had named him after Jessica, the one other person who he respected and admired a lot. Then little Mucus had come along three years after the twins. He was just precious. He kind of looked just like Mucus. He was going to be trouble that one. He could cry his lungs out when he wanted something, a total menace. This was his family, his. The Gordons. No money in the world could buy that. He had money, he had managed to empty his accounts and transfer them to his new Canadian accounts courtesy of a credit card scammer friend of his. It was untraceable. They'd still be ok if he doesn't earn another cent for ten years but he loved the Law, that's just what he does. Now five years down the line, he was married with three kids and his name on the wall of a prominent Law Firm. Donna always told him, "you can't keep a good man down" and according to her he was as good as they come. As soon as the twins were walking and talking, Donna came to work with him again. She was there throughout all his success, as always she was the one mostly responsible for his rise at the Firm. His back bone, his anchor, his drive. Together they could become anything they wanted. He would only have to make sure he stays out of the spotlight most of the time least someone leaks his photo to the news papers and someone in the US sees it.

Donna laughs "Jackson sure does intimidate you hon, he's just like you. Now you know how difficult you are to deal with." She chides.

Harvey sighs, exasperated, "Donna, you're going to have to talk to them about it if it ever comes up. You're so good at this talk thing." He says trying to butter her up

"No way, you get Jackson and I get Rose. Fair's fair." She quips

"Not fair. Jackson would have Googgled it by now. He won't buy that birds and bees analogy. He'll give me a hard time." He whines

"Oh would you rather have Rose and her twenty questions? She won't let it go untill she's all good and ready and that could take days. At least Jackson would call your bluff and let it go." She says

"Or he'll just explain it to me, according to Google." He sighs "Sweet"

Donna laughs, "Do you remember when we tried to confiscate his gadgets? Your son started lawyering us.

 _'Technically mom and dad you bought me these gadgets and now you have not the power of attorney to confiscate what now rightfully belongs to me without due course.'he had said_

 _'Learned that from Google?' Harvey had asked_

 _'Not from Google. From you dad.' He had replied, all ready to go to trial with his case._

They had let him win, not his fault he was born a genius.

They both laugh at the memory. "You know who he reminds me of?" Donna asks rising an eye brow. She is now lying on the bed with her chest on his chest.

"Who? Mike? No way, my son trumps Mike any day." He says indignantly. "Mike has a photographic memory; my son is a genius, certified. He doesn't just have a photographic memory, he's a strategist. Try playing chess with him" He says braggadocios

"Spoken like a true father, typical." She says giving up, laying her head back on his chest. "I miss him. I miss them all, I miss Rachel." She says wistfully

"I know baby, I know." He says cuddling her closer. "We'll see them again someday."

They lie there like that for another five minutes in a comfortable silence, reminiscing.

"Let's go get the kids, I'll make dinner." She says, getting up.

He follows her out the door. "Let's go to the beach house for Christmas this year." He suggests

She turns and kisses him, "We could go early this year, take a few days early from work."

...

He was going on a hunch really but this is the best hunch he has had for five years now. This one could pan out. He walks out of the elevator into the lobby of the building, "Hastings. Casey. Gordon." The names are written boldly on the wall. Bingo. Rookey move, using your father's first name for a fake name. He walks in to the reception "Hi, I am here to see Mr Gordon?" he asks the receptionist. She nods and places a call. After talking though the phone she turns back to him."Unfortunately, he's not in today." She said

He looks bummed, "I am his brother and I have come from the United States. Could you maybe give me his home address please? I really wanted to surprise him." he says pleadingly. Throw in a few flirtatious comments and bingo, he got it. That was easy. He walks out briskly, taking out his phone to make a call. "I found them."

"Are you positive?" said the voice on the other end

"Hundred percent."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

 **Hey guys. I want to thank all of you who reviewed and favored this story, thank you for being such a great audience. Here's the last chapter , hope you enjoy it. My Christmas present to you all so don't freak out. Merry Christmas, love you.**

 _We're all looking,  
That's what she said,  
For someone to share our thoughts,  
For someone to share our beds._

 _But if you find someone that doesn't try to change you,_

 _If you find someone that doesn't have to blame you,  
If you find someone you don't need to explain to,  
You've found the one you love.- The one you love- Passenger_

When he's not in a suit getting clients out of sticky situations he boxes. Yeah, he still goes to the gym as often as he used to and he runs as usual but when he's not doing that he surfs. He likes to surf when he is at the beach house, riding the waves. When he's surfing, at that moment alone he feels like he doesn't have to look over his shoulder. Truth be told he is getting more and more worried of getting caught. How long will this fantasy last? It almost feels too good to be true. He looks out to shore at his wife who is busy applying sunscreen on her legs, she's wearing a two piece. She is sitting in an open beach tent with sun glasses on and her hair loose, its red color more highlighted by the sun. She looks breath taking. His kids are not far off, busy playing with the sand, building something or other. He rides the wave that comes up immediately breaking his concentration on his family. He surfs back to shore, wanting only to give his wife and kids a kiss each. He gets anxious sometimes, looking at them and knowing that it could be taken away at any moment. It gets harder each day. Maybe because the more time passes the more he has to lose. He kisses his wife soundly then walks over to kiss his kids.  
"Dad I want you to teach me to surf." Says Jackson

"Me too daddy." Rose said, raising her hands in the air.

"Me too daddy" Marcus echoes throwing himself into his daddy's arms

"Alright alright kidos, one at a time. Jackson you're first come with me." He says leading the way.

He holds his son close in front of him, "Ok Jack just be steady and trust me. Keep your feet firm on the board ok buddy?" he tells his son who just nods his head, getting ready for the ride. "You scared buddy?" he asks him

"No way dad. I got you." he replies nonchalantly. Harvey feels his heart swelling with pride and love for his son. He also feels sacred to let him down. How did he come to deserve such unwavering trust? They ride the tide together and his son squeals with elation. He is filled with pride as he rides back to shore. He takes Rose on and she is just as elated, she isn't scared at all. Then he gets his two year old and lies over him on the board as he surfs.

They are laughing and happy as they get to shore. He takes the kids for a couple more rides as it seems they cannot have enough.

"I am going to be the best surfer this part of the world." Rose says proudly looking at Jackson

"This part of the world? How about the whole wide world!" Jackson says, feeling inspired.

"The bestest. I am the bestest right daddy." Says little Marcus with his little hands raised up.

"Yeah the bestest little man." Harvey says ruffling his youngest son's hair playfully. "Ok listen up kids, you all promise to stay put and not move an inch towards the water ok? I am going to take your mommy surfing, how about that?"

"I am not going anywhere." Donna says

"Come on just once." Harvey pleads. He turns to his kids, "Who wants mommy to go surfing?" the kids all raise their hands in the air. They start cheering, "mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy"

"Ok, ok," Donna relents. "Just once." She says. Harvey pulls her by the hand as they start running towards the water, laughing. He makes her lie down on the board on her back and he lies securely on top of her. "Now this is an interesting position." He says suggestively as he paddles into the water.

"Your kids are watching Specter." She says with a smirk and he kisses her passionately

They come to a big wave and she squeals with elation as they ride the wave. They ride back to shore, holding hands and laughing. They both freeze at the same time when they see the man standing with their kids.

"Well well well aren't you quite the happy family." He says

...

"How the hell did you find us?" Harvey asks looking shocked to see him

"It was easy Gordon." He says putting a slight emphasis on the Gordon.

"Apparently not that easy, it took you over five years." Harvey says

"Still, I did didn't I. WWHD" He replies cockily.

"Are you going to just stand there and argue with each other? Come here puppy and give me a hug."

Mike moves forward and gives Donna a tight hug; they look at each other with tears in their eyes. He moves and gives Harvey a hug, patting each other on the back. "Oh my God you guys can sure hide." He says with delight. There is a lot of hugs and laughter going around. Donna looks at her husband with tears of joy in her eyes.

"I know baby, I know." Harvey says to her soothingly. The kids are just looking on at the show in wonderment.

Donna quickly wraps a beach towel around her waist and lifts Marcus up into her arms. "Come on guys let's take it inside." She says already walking towards their beach house. They all follow her up.

"So this is your family Harvey?" Mike asks looking at the kids nodding his head in admiration. "You did well for yourself tiger."

They get to the house just behind Donna and Harvey springs into action when he hears her squeal. He gets into the house so fast only to stand still when he sees her hugging Rachel, laughing and crying at the same time. She looks so happy his heart clutches. They finally let go and he goes on to hug Rachel who has tears streaming down her eyes. She also looks very pregnant. Oh it feels so good to see them both.

When all the excitement has died down Rose takes a step gingerly towards her dad and whispers a little too loudly everyone can hear. "Daddy how come these people know our secret name? You told us that no one is supposed to know our name is Specter and that we should only remember it in our hearts and not say it out because no one knows that name because it's special. How come they know our special name?"

Everyone laughs at that. "That's Rose for you." says Donna in introduction

"Smart one." Rachel comments smiling "She's just like you Donna."

Harvey picks his daughter up and starts to explain. "Remember when Uncle Marcus came last year? He knew our secret name right? Because he is my brother, your uncle. Same thing with Uncle Mike and Aunt Rachel here, it's their special name too."

She nods with understanding, looking again at Mike and Rachel with a new light in her eyes.

"Wow you have trained them well your little ninjas." Mike cracks

Harvey just smirks proudly and introduces his kids to Mike and Rachel. They all settle down at the table to have lunch.

"Congratulations on your pregnancy guys. Is it your first?" Donna asks

"Oh yeah it's our first. I was stuck in law school and Mike also had to go to law school so we didn't have the time to start a family until now." Rachel explains

"Oh you went to Law School ha?" Harvey asks Mike, looking impressed.

"I sure did. And of course I nailed it." Mike says bragging then looked sideways at Rachel, "We both did." He corrected.

"Well congratulations to you both." He says then looks suggestively at Donna. "How about we get another one babe? You look great when you're pregnant." He teased

"You hate me. You don't love me at all." Donna accuses teasingly

"Oh baby that hurts." He clutches his heart feigning pain. "Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love." He declares

"Oh my God, you're quoting Shakespeare now? Donna you've managed to turn him into a dork." Mike teases laughing. They all laugh teasing each other; it all feels like a dream.

They finish their dinner, Donna and Rachel retreating to the kitchen for some girl talk while the kids move out to play.

"So how did you find us? At the beach house I mean. Nobody knows about the beach house" Harvey asked

"I broke into your house, looked around and bingo, here we are." Mike says in explanation. "Got your home address from the receptionist by the way, it was pretty easy. You might want to tighten security there. Oh and ah...I noticed your name on the wall, nice touch. You don't waste much time now do you?" he says

Harvey just snorts. "Are you sure you weren't followed?"

"No one would have followed us Harvey. Yeah Cahill was pissed as hell but you kind of sand boxed him man, he couldn't move. Unless he wants to murder you for revenge there is nothing he can do to you legally that wouldn't implicate him too. As far as everybody knows Donna has served her five years and should be out of jail by now and you took another job somewhere." Mike explains enthusiastically."Cahill, for all the grief you might have caused him isn't too bad really. If anything he's doing better than before. He got promoted."

"He would have."Harvey says not looking too shocked at the news. "I might have left him a little insurance policy. I knew he was going to be alright. Pissed but alright."

Mike nods in sudden comprehension. "That envelope you had me deliver to your apartment. I knew I should have looked at the contents. Cahill looked blonder than his usual blond self when he looked into that envelope. What was in it anyway?"

"Some dirt on his bosses. Something that I knew would keep him from getting fired if he used it." Harvey says

"Good man. See there's nothing to run from anymore. You can come back Harvey." Mike says with elation

Harvey holds up his hand to calm him down, "Not so fast, what about Gibbs? I have kids now and a life Mike. My name is on the wall of a very prominent Firm here."

"Until when Harvey? Until someone discovers your real deal? How long do you think this is going to last? Gibbs right now is as happy as a clown that she destroyed you. She thinks Donna served her sentence. Even if she somehow finds out about this and calls you out on it. She has no proof. She has no one to tell and no one who'd listen to her crazy story. As for a name on the wall, Harvey, Jessica is only waiting for you to take back the reigns of the Firm. Yeah she is back as Managing Partner but she really doesn't want it anymore. She just wants to live her happy life married to Jeff Mallon" Mike says earnestly to Harvey.

He takes it all in. It is a long shot but it's better than looking over his shoulder all the time. Everyday living scared that someone is going to run his prints and find out his true identity.

"I'll talk to Donna about it." He says. "God, its unreal Mike. The possibility of..."

"It's real Harvey. You can come back now. No one will come after you."Mike says convincingly

He sees Donna deep in conversation with Rachel across the room. "I have to go talk to Donna." He gets up going towards her. Seeing him approach Rachel gets up to give them some privacy.

"Hey you." he says smiling at her. "You look happy."

"I am. This is the best Christmas present ever. Rachel tells me we can go back now." She says

"Do you want to go back?" he asks her

"If it's a possibility Harvey, that we can go back and still be safe then let's." She replies

"I love you." He says drawing her close to kiss her passionately.

Mike is startled by a small voice behind him as he looks on at the scene. "My mom and dad should really get a room." It's Jackson, looking at him with Harvey's face and Donna's eyes.

"What do you know about getting a room little man?" Mike asks him patronizingly

"I know a lot more than my mom and dad want me to know. Now my question is, If having sex is how you produce babies, how come we are not a lot more than the three of us? My mom and dad seem to do it a lot." He says pondering, looking expectantly at him for an answer.

Mike just freezes, lost for words. "Ahhh..." he stammers, looking across at Harvey and Donna for help, who have stopped kissing and are now looking interestingly at him.

"He walked right into that one didn't he?" Donna says

"He sure did." Harvey says and they both burst out laughing at Mike's comically trapped expression.


End file.
